Things We Do For Love
by sintowin
Summary: A series in which Emily/JJ are already together and have just moved in together, let the fun begin...
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: **Hey guys, if you've seen our bio you're already aware that we are '_mcsaz91_' and '_katD-11_', we've both written Emily/JJ fics before but this is our first ever joint fic. We're hoping it goes down well, so here it goes...

Don't forget read and review :)

**Disclaimer: **We do not own Criminal Minds or any of the characters.

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><p>JJ looked around at the empty room, it looked a lot bigger than she had imagined. She remembered walking around the apartment for the first time; she hadn't contemplated being stood here in a pair of denim almost-hotpants and her old college shirt.<p>

Emily leaned against the door frame studying JJ. She tilted her head to get a better view. The brunette licked her lips as she took in the blonde's firm ass. Her eyes tracked up her body taking in all her curves till she reached her long sunshine coloured hair, which flowed down between her shoulder blades. She knew she was there to be looking at the room, but she was far too distracted.

Gazing around the room JJ jumped when she noticed Emily stood at the door staring straight at her. "Jesus Em," She muttered running a hand through her long hair and shifting her weight onto her other foot, resting her hand on her hip. "How long have you been standing there?"

As JJ moved, Emily's eyes moved with her. She vaguely heard her say something, but she was now too focused on her new view. "Hmmm?" She internally thanked the makers of the blonde's college shirt for designing it so perfectly fitting. The shirt stretched over her full and round breasts, which just asked to be palmed and caressed. When JJ had said to dress in old clothes, she did not realise it would entail her wearing that outfit. How was she supposed to concentrate on anything else now? She heard JJ speak again. "Huh, what?" she stuttered still staring at the blonde's chest.

JJ's eyes narrowed as she took in the expression across the older woman's face. She knew full well that her girlfriend was highly distracted and wasn't concentrating on what she was saying in the slightest. JJ neared her girlfriend slowly, her bare feet padding across the hardwood floor approaching her girlfriend ever nearer. "Someone's distracted," She commented noticing Emily's eyes following her as she moved, she raised her eyebrows at the brunette. "Emily Prentiss!" She shook her head at her, could she not concentrate, not even for a minute, she was just like a horny teenager.

At the sound of JJ's raised voice and full-naming, Emily snapped out of her lust-filled daze. She studied her face and smirked, "Sorry, was just taking in the view."

JJ bit down on her bottom lip, her cheeks flushing pink. "Agent Prentiss, you're just like a horny 18 year old, you know that?"

Emily stalked forward wrapping her arms around the blonde's waist. "Only for you Agent Jareau. Plus you're not exactly playing fair...you said old and dirty, not short and revealing." She gestures at her own attire - an old and dirty pair of ripped jeans and an overly large, baggy shirt. She kissed her in a quick, searing kiss. "I'll be right back." She quickly turns and leaves the room.

JJ smirked at her girlfriend when she spoke; she looked her girlfriend up and down, noticing her distinct lack of skin on show. "These were the only old clothes I had." JJ muttered, she had looked everywhere for some old clothes and this was what she had come up with. "You were the one that said we had to be ruthless with what we were bringing to the new flat!" She called after her fleeing girlfriend.

The brunette ran speedily back to their bedroom. She knew exactly what she had in mind. She quickly changed her clothes, knowing this new 'old and dirty' outfit would be the perfect revenge for being called a 'horny 18 year old'. Smirking to herself she sat on the bed and waited for a couple more minutes to wile the blonde just a little longer. "I'll show you old and dirty Miss Jareau," the profiler grinned.

JJ waited patiently for her girlfriend to re-appear, when she didn't she decided she would just get on with the job in hand, she wasn't waiting around for the brunette. Walking to one corner of the room JJ knelt down beside the pot of paint. She reached for the screw driver sat on the hardwood floor and proceeded to try and open the paint. "Crap!" She exclaimed as a spray of paint flew out of the tin covering her face with hundreds of purple freckles.

Walking back through the door, Emily laughed at JJ's mishap with the paint can. Sensing her frustration she walked forwards to help her girlfriend. "I always knew purple was your colour, babe. Though I must admit I prefer you in blue, it matches your eyes."

JJ pouted, turning to look at her girlfriend. "Emily..." She whined shaking her head, "This is not funny." She bent her head and let out an annoyed moan.

Emily kisses her girlfriend's head. "Ok, let's get this paint on the _walls_." She reaches over the blonde brushing her breasts across her cheek and grabs the tin. Slowly pouring some paint into a tray, she grabs a brush and walks both over to the opposite side of the room. She bends over, dips her paint brush into the tray and then reaches up as far as she can and starts painting.

"Haha, very funny." She groaned as she grabbed a paint brush and followed Emily over to the other side of the room. "Whose idea was this anyway?" She muttered knowing it was her own. She dipped her brush into the paint and began to cover the walls.

"I'll pretend you didn't ask that question." Emily laughs. She looks across at the blonde while painting. _This was gonna be harder than she had anticipated_, she thought to herself. JJ hadn't even commented yet on her choice of outfit, clearly she needed to make this job a little more fun. But how?

JJ approached Emily, the paint tray beside her. She bent down, her ass high in the air as she dipped her paint brush into the purple paint. "Don't pretend you aren't loving this." JJ stood again, looking at her girlfriend she stepped towards her holding her paint brush in the air.

The profiler watched as JJ bent down groaning internally at the sight of her ass in those shorts. "I don't know what you mean." Emily smirked again. "But you may want to keep your paint brush on the wall. It's about to drip." She spun her girlfriend around to face the wall. Taking position behind her, she placed one hand on the blonde's paintbrush while the other slid under her shirt to softly touch her hip. She pressed her red sports bra and toned stomach firmly against the blonde's back as she slowly moved their paint brush up and down painting the wall. Breathing against the liaison's neck, she kissed her pulse point and went back to her painting like nothing had happened.

JJ looked back at the wall her paint brush now moving in steady motions up and down with Emily's hand covering hers. The blonde shivered beneath Emily's touch as the older woman stood dangerously close to her. She tried her hardest to focus on the painting, her brush still moving along the wall but when Emily moved away she noticed the lack of contact immediately. She tried to carry on regardless, dipping her brush in the paint again, gazing out of the corner of her eye at Emily every once in a while. _Two can play that game, Agent Prentiss, _she thought to herself as she stopped painting. She walked towards Emily slowly, swaying her hips slightly. Stopping she bent down, placing her paint brush in the tray she stood again facing away from Emily. "Oh, it's so hot." She moaned using her hand to fan herself, pulling her tight fitting shirt away from her skin she lifted the bottom up just above her belly button and pulled it tightly around her before tucking it up so it rested there, her toned stomach on show. "Painting has made me work up such a sweat," She groaned.

Emily watched her girlfriend mouth wide open, drooling slightly. She could feel herself getting more and more worked up every second. _Oh jesus_, Emily groaned to herself as the blonde moaned. _I can do this, deep breaths. I know what she is doing_, she muttered in her head. She turned to face the wall desperate to act nonchalant, but realistically she could feel the heat settling between her tiny, black shorts. She took one last breath trying to clear the lust from her voice, "Y-y-yeah, very hot." _Crap!_ The brunette chastised herself for failing to hide the effect JJ's noises and flesh was having on her. "WATER!" She exclaimed. "I'll go and get some water." For the second time she walked out the room, preparing her next move in her head.

JJ smirked as she heard her girlfriend speak; she knew full well she was having trouble trying to hide the effect JJ was having on her. She looked over her shoulder at her girlfriend who was swiftly exiting the room once again. _She's got a habit of doing that tonight, _she thought to herself as she picked up her paint brush once again. _Time to up my game. _Dipping the paint brush back into the paint she proceeded to flick the paint not only on the walls but also over herself. Covering herself in purple paint JJ smirked, _oh dear, I'd better take off my top, I'm covered in it._ Lifting her top up over her head she threw it to the floor and picked up her brush once again. She let out a little laugh to herself, the paint brush coming into contact with the wall once again.

Emily walked back into the room with a bottle of water and surveyed the scene. It was clear that JJ had up'd her game. There she was painting in just a lacy bra having flicked paint on her herself and the wall. _Oh she really is playing dirty, not that I'm complaining_! Taking a sip of the cold water, Emily's temporary equivalent to a cold shower, she walked back over to the section they were painting. Keeping hold of the cold water in one hand to remind her to stay cool, she dipped her paint brush again. "Seeing as you are having such trouble keeping it on the walls." Emily smirked. "You missed a bit," as she ran the paint down JJ across JJ's bra and down her toned stomach.

JJ's mouth fell open in surprise, her eyes wide also as she gapped at her girlfriend. "Emily!" She squealed, "I actually like this bra!" She dipped her paint brush back in the paint and immediately flicked the purple liquid at the brunette, covering her torso in the paint. Smirking she stepped towards her girlfriend, "There," She started, "much better!"

"Jayje!" Emily exclaimed but failing to hide the smile forming on her lips. _Time for step two, _Emily thought. _This is gonna be a bit of a shock_. She opened the bottle of water and took a sip. She then tipped her head back to show off her long, elegant neck and slowly poured the cold, ice water down her body. As the water ran over and between her breasts the paint slowly washed away down her stomach. Emily let out a moan as the cold water flowed down her body, goosebumps followed and her nipples became hard, excited by the sudden temperature change. She bought the water back to her mouth, drinking the rest and throwing the bottle on the floor.

JJ could have caught flies her mouth was hung open that wide. She felt herself gulp audibly, _holy crap,_ she thought to herself as she watched the water slide down Emily's skin, never had she felt so affected watching her girlfriend drink a bottle of water. She bit down on her bottom lip, trying her hardest to stay in control, she couldn't let up now she'd got this far. JJ's eyes raked down the brunette's body slowly, she took in every expanse of her skin and felt herself shiver when she noticed the effect the cold water had had over her breasts and noticeably hard nipples. JJ was so distracted that she hadn't noticed the paint brush slip from her grasp and land on the floor with a thud, purple paint flicking through the room.

The brunette was actually thankful for the cold shower, just to see JJ's reaction out the corner of her eye, but even so it failed to stop the strong pulsing between her legs. The blonde's paint brush clattered to the floor, spraying their legs in the process. She fluidly bent down, picked it up and walked over to JJ. She stepped into the blonde's personal space, purposely pressing her nipples into her front. She slowly leant forward, her lust-filled breath hitting her ear and whispered, "I'm all wet."

JJ tried her hardest not to react to Emily being so close to her. She could feel her body pressing into hers, driving her wild. She swallowed hard as Emily's breath tickled her skin, her words sending her mind reeling, there was no way she was going to be able to beat that. "Oh fuck..." She trailed off, her eyes fixed on Emily's almost see-through red sports bra. Within seconds she had Emily pinned against the wet wall, her lips working overtime against Emily's as she gripped onto the brunette's slim waist.

The profiler grunted as JJ pushed her hard against the wall. She could feel the wet paint sliding across her bare back as she got lost in the feel of JJ's lips against her own. She placed one hand on the back of the blonde's neck trying to pull her in closer, while the other ran her fingers through her golden hair. She moaned into the kiss, swiping her tongue across her girlfriend's lower lip asking for entry.

JJ moaned and parted her lips immediately to allow Emily entry. Her fingertips brushed against Emily's hips, she traced patterns against her skin as their tongues danced together almost duelling for dominance, JJ was determined to be in control.

Emily knew her girlfriend wanted to be in control. She knew that she had purposely worked her up and she needed to let it out, but she wasn't finished with her yet. The brunette moved her hands to waistband of her girlfriend's shorts and painstakingly slowly moved her hands up her toned stomach towards her breasts. She cupped the underside of her bra running her thumbs over both nipples as they became hard under her touch. She then quickly flipped them over, pushing JJ hard against the wall. She continued to kiss her passionately, rubbing her thumbs over her girlfriend's nipples while she moved her thigh to brush against her centre.

JJ bit back a loud moan when Emily's thumb brushed her nipples; she refused to give into her although her body had other ideas. A groan left her lips, without her control, when Emily pushed her flush against the painted wall. "Fuck," She breathed out as she felt her nipples get hard under the brunette's touch. She arched her chest into her touch needing more than Emily was giving her. "I hate you," She muttered breathlessly as the brunette's thigh edged ever closer to her centre, "You never let me win."

Emily smirked at her comment. She pushed herself harder into the blonde wanting to feel more skin on skin contact, "I ALWAYS let you win." She moved to kiss JJ's neck, biting down hard marking her and licking over the mark to sooth it. She slowly bit, sucked and kissed down the blonde's neck and chest, letting out a low growl deep in her throat while palming the blonde's breasts.

JJ groaned at the brunette's ministrations. "Emily," She whispered breathlessly as her head tipped back, she was sure she now had purple hair but that was the last thing on her mind. JJ brought her hands up to Emily's hair and let her fingers get tanged in the dark locks. The brunette's growl made the blonde shiver with delight and elict a moan from the sweet lips of the blonde. "We're meant to be painting..." She muttered trying to regain at least a shred of composure, "Not...not _this." _She groaned again, a throbbing between her legs taking over her senses.

Emily groaned with excitement. She continued to kiss JJ as she moved them closer to the paint tray. She pulled back, grabbed the paint tray and threw the paint against the wall. Before the blonde could react she pushed her back hard against the wall kissing her fiercely. She grabbed her wrists and slowly rose them up the wall towards her head spreading the paint as they went. "We _are_ painting."

JJ laughed against Emily's lips, "This wasn't what I had in mind when I suggested it," She whispered pulling back to catch her breath. "But I guess we do need to christen the room..."

"Mhmmm" Emily muttered against her lips. She held JJ's wrists in one hand while the other snaked around her back to undo her girlfriend's bra. "Tell me what you want." The profiler removed the bra and took a nipple in her mouth rolling her tongue around it, refusing to release JJ's wrists.

"What I want?" She asked as she arched her chest forwards towards Emily's mouth, she felt her legs tremble; she was finding it hard to keep herself up. "I want..." She let out a shaky breath as she felt everything Emily was doing to her rush south, "Fuck..." She couldn't think straight, she could barely string a few words together when she was making her moan like that. "You know what I want."

Emily could feel the blonde tremble under her, so she pushed her thigh back in between JJ's legs to hold her up. She bit down on her nipple, soothing it by licking firmly over the hard bud. Emily could taste the paint in her mouth, but was too turned on to care. "I know exactly what you want." She moved to take the other nipple in her mouth while she slowly circled two fingers down JJ's body inching towards the hem of her shorts. She flicked the button, opening the shorts as her fingers worked their way ever south. Just as she was about to reach the place her girlfriend craved her touch, the profiler stopped her movements. Scraping her teeth over JJ's nipple she released her mouth and straightened up. Going in for a quick, searing kiss, she then pulled away. "You're right..." Emily sighed, using all her skills not to crack a sly smile or laugh at JJ's now purple covered lips. "We probably should paint."

JJ's head tipped back, a moan leaving her lips as Emily teasingly played with her nipples, driving her wild. She felt her hips buck slightly as Emily opened the button on her shorts, she knew what was to come, she was so eager for it, so full of want and need. Within seconds it was over, Emily leaving JJ in complete shock. The blonde stared at her girlfriend with disbelief. "Oh I am _so_ not putting out for a month now," JJ pouted shaking her head, "You're just cruel." She muttered bending down to pick up her shirt from the floor. She started towards the door.

"NO WAIT!" Emily shouts running forward grabbing JJ's arm. "Please don't go outside the room just yet..." She begged. Worry, desperation and a hint of sadness filled her eyes. "Please" Emily begged again. Then she whispers to herself, "It'll get ruined."

JJ stopped at the door, she knew that would get to her girlfriend, she knew how to play her perfectly. Turning to look at her girlfriend the blonde pulled her arm from the brunette's grasp and placed her hand on her hip. Narrowing her gaze the blonde started towards her girlfriend. She slowly walked around the brunette who was clearly rooted to the spot. Stopping behind her girlfriend she stepped towards her, reaching up she ran her fingers slowly down her girlfriends back before stepping even closer. Her bare breasts, hardened nipples pressed into the brunette's back, her fingertips brushed along Emily's neck, playing with the hair at the back of her neck before she leant up on her tip toes and hovered her lips over Emily's ear. "You're so going to wish you hadn't done that Emily Prentiss." She moved her lips to press teasing kisses across her lover's shoulder blades.

Emily shivered as JJ's fingers ran down her back. "P..." She groaned as she felt JJ's nipples against her. Her arousal pooling south. "Promise..." she stuttered with a gasp. As she felt the blonde's breath her ear, her knees buckled, but she managed to stop herself falling completely. "P-p-promise me you won't leave the room until I let you." She moans loudly as JJ presses kisses against her bare skin.

JJ shook her head, her lips not leaving Emily's skin, "I think I'm the one that calls the shots now," The blonde whispered as she trailed kisses down the brunette's back. JJ unclipped the sports bra which was in her way and discarded the item. She continued her trail of kisses all the way to the bottom of Emily's back, ending up kneeling on the hardwood floor behind her. "Turn around."

"No..." the brunette whispered out, trying to get her point across. _Shit, Emily, don't let this surprise be ruined. Must stop...her._ Emily groaned again as she felt her bra being unclipped and JJ's kisses getting lower and lower. "Oh fuck..." she exclaims loudly. "No...leave...room...surprise..." She desperately tries to form a sentence, but fails. As she hears her girlfriend's words her whole body begins shaking with anticipation. "JJ..." she whispers and turns around excruciatingly slowly.

"What are you going on about?" She asked with a raised eyebrow, her eyes on her girlfriends as she reaches up to grip onto her hips.

Emily growls at the slight pause in events. "Don't stop! Oh god don't stop!"

JJ's eyes narrowed, "Emily Prentiss," She slowly stood up to face her girlfriend.

The brunette's eyes widened and she gulped at the blonde's tone and full-naming. _Shit! Shit! Shit! Totally wrong thing to say..._ Emily sighed. "I didn't want to tell you this but through nerves and being _completely_ turned on by you in that..." She gestures to JJ's current state. "Outfit." She grabs her girlfriend's hands. "There is a surprise for you outside this room and if you go out there you will spoil it. So..." She leans forward and kisses JJ, putting all her love and devotion into the kiss. "before that...I want us to make love."

JJ's eyes grew wide, "What..." She watched Emily carefully, trying to think what this _surprise _could possibly be. She had picked up a lot from the profiler in the past, despite first and foremost being a liaison she still knew a thing or two about profiling. JJ barely responded to the kiss, her mind still reeling from Emily's confession. "Emily, do you really think I'm just going to shut up and forget you've told me this for the next..." She pressed her lips gently to Emily's before pulling back again, "I'm excited now, tell me!"

"Then..." Emily kissed her again. "It..." She kissed her again slowly moving her back towards the wall again. "Wouldn't..." Each time she kissed her she did it with more and more passion and heat. "Be..." Finally reaching the wall she pushed JJ against it. With this kiss running her fingers, clawing her nails in slightly, through JJ's blonde (and purple) hair. "A surprise!"

JJ giggled against Emily's lips, moaning when her back came into contact with the wall again. "You know how impatient I am," JJ whined. She brought her hands up to rest of Emily's shoulders, squeezing softly, "And I know how bad you are at keeping secrets." She smirked before pressing her lips to her girlfriends. She kissed her gently, bringing her hand up to rest on her cheek gently.

"Beautiful...beautiful eyes." Emily blurts out once they break the kiss, desperately trying to change the subject. "You have beautiful eyes...blue...I love blue." Emily leans in pushing herself harder against JJ, their naked breasts touching; their nipples rubbing. She slowly ran her fingers along JJ's body with only a feather light touch. "I have a new appreciation for the colour now." She sucks on her pulse point marking her, again.

"Stop trying to change the subject," She whispered after a moan escaped her lips. What Emily was doing was driving her crazy but this surprise had her feeling so excited. Taking Emily's hands in her own she interlinked their fingers together, "Em," she pressed her lips to Emily's again kissing her softly, "I love you."

Emily smirked against her neck. She pulled back and checked out her work. _Oops! I hope we don't have a case this weekend so that can fade... _JJ's puppy dog eyes and expression of love was knocking down her walls. Before she could stumble over a reply that did not involve giving away the surprise, there was a bang from somewhere in the flat.

JJ's concentration was on Emily, when she looked at her she was reminded of how lucky she was to be stood in their new flat together. The loud bang pulled JJ from her thoughts, "What the hell was that?" JJ asked pulling away and trying her hardest to free herself from between the wall and her girlfriend.

The brunette winced at the bang. She grabbed JJ's hips and pushed with her body even harder, pinning her girlfriend in place. "Sergio!" Emily internally thanked her FBI quick thinking for that huge white lie. "He probably just knocked something over..." Emily moved the hands on her hips to hold her open shorts slowly working them down while kissing her softly over her naked neck, jaw and chest. "Relax."

JJ was somehow convinced by Emily's shockingly bad lie. The way Emily started to kiss her body probably had something to do with it and the way she was trying desperately to pry her shorts down. JJ groaned her hips flexing at the contact, "Oh fuck it." JJ had finally giving in; wiggling her hips she discarded the shorts quickly and kicked them away.

Emily felt the tension leave her body at JJ's words. She groaned when she saw what panties JJ was wearing. "You're a fucking tease Agent Jareau."

"Less talk, more action." She instructed as she pressed her lips to Emily's teasingly. She began to deepen the kiss, her tongue running along Emily's bottom lip as she pulled Emily closer by her shoulders. She lifted one leg up and wrapped it around her waist.

_This is what heaven feels like_, Emily thought before her mind went blurry with pure lust; her whole entire body focused on what JJ was doing to her. As her girlfriend's leg wrapped around her body it pushed her black shorts down a little leaving her hip bare. The brunette grinded her hip against her girlfriend's centre. She could feel the blonde's arousal through her panties.

JJ moaned at the contact, her centre almost throbbing with anticipation. "I need you." JJ groaned as she brought her hand up to cup Emily's cheek, "Please Em."


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note**: Thank you so much for the reviews we have received already, we definitely did not expect it to be as much of a hit as it obviously is! We have a LOT more chapters to come...so watch this place.

**Don't forget to R&R.**

Disclaimer: We _still _do not own Criminal Minds or any of the characters.

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><p>Emily held JJ carefully making sure she didn't hurt herself as they slumped down the wall. The brunette held her girlfriend close to her chest, both heavy breathing and extremely satisfied. "I can't believe I came and you didn't touch me." Emily gasped out. "Just wow!" The profiler kissed the blonde softly between each word. "You...are...amazing."<p>

JJ smiled, satisfied as she listened to her girlfriends heartbeat within her chest. She draped her arm over her girlfriend's bare stomach and smiled to herself, she had never felt happier. She gazed around at the walls and sighed, "It didn't get the painting done though, did it?"

Emily looked at the walls herself. "I rather like it like this though..." She laughs at the purple JJ shaped silhouette smudged on the wall. "It will remind me of you when you're out."

JJ laughed, "I'm not leaving it like that." She rolled onto her front, half lying on Emily. She pressed a gentle kiss to Emily's chest and rested her chin on it laying her hands on her shoulders and stroking her skin gently. "You can paint the rest of it when I go out to get the groceries."

The brunette slowly sat up and pulled JJ in for a kiss. "Mmkay." She mumbled with a contented sigh, rising off the ground. She held JJ close, not _really_ wanting to let go. "You may want to shower first...and don't forget my peanut butter." The profiler stated in a fake stern voice, smirking. She loved her peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Garcia teased her constantly suggesting she liked them more than her girlfriend. _Never!_

"I would never forget your peanut butter," she told her as she pressed another kiss to her girlfriend's lips. The blonde moved into Emily's lap, straddling her she linked her arms around Emily's neck. "Although I still stand by the fact that you get no kisses until you've brushed your teeth after eating that crap," She laughed and pressed her lips to hers again.

Emily gasps in mock shock. "Blasphemy! I could arrest you for that comment." Emily states in her Agent Prentiss voice. "But I won't, cause I'd miss you." Emily kisses her forehead. "...You're too much of a good lay." The profiler winks at her.

JJ gasped, "Hey!" She hit Emily on the arm playfully, "That better not be the only reason you wanted to get a flat together, so you had sex on tap!"

Emily smirks pulling JJ towards the door to leave. "Of course not..." She leans back into her girlfriend, placing her mouth next to her ear and whispers, "You buy me peanut butter too." She pecks the blonde on the lips. As she is just about to pull JJ out the door, she stops abruptly.

JJ couldn't help but laugh, she knew for a fact Emily was just teasing. "I might not next time." She winked, about to leave when she noticed Emily stop, "Come on, I need to go have a shower if you actually want something to eat tonight."

The profiler whips around on the spot so fast she nearly gets whiplash. "See you _are_ a good lay! So good you _blew_ my mind. Wait here...do...not...move. If you do...I promise you no sex, no touching and separate rooms for a whole month! You will suffer Jareau." Emily smirks, winks again to let her girlfriend know it was meant seriously but not meant nastily and runs off...for the third time.

Sighing JJ watched her girlfriend rush off once again. She took the opportunity to find her shirt which was now partly dry and pull it on along with her lacy panties.

"Close your eyes." Emily demanded from around the corner, completely out of view.

"Em?" She asked trying her hardest to see where the voice had come from, "Why are you hiding?"

"Close your eyes, Jareau. I'm a profiler I can tell when they aren't." Emily demanded again. "No closed eyes...no surprise." _Oo that rhymes_! The brunette giggles..._And I'm way too excited about this! Prentiss' don't giggle!_

JJ's eyes narrowed and she pouted, "Emily..." Hearing Emily's words she gave in, "Fine, eyes closed." She closed her eyes as instructed, her arms folded over her chest, a pout still evident on her lips. Jennifer Jareau liked surprises but she wasn't always a fan of the unknown, with Emily she trusted her so she wasn't too nervous.

Emily stepped cautiously around the corner into JJ's line of sight. She pecked JJ on the lips. Her pout was too cute not to. She knew she realistically there was no need not to make her close her eyes like that, but it made the whole thing more fun. She desperately wanted this to be special; as special as JJ was to her. That is what the surprise was all about after all. She grabbed JJ's hands, "Trust me babe. I promise you nothing bad will happen." The profiler slowly guided the blonde forwards. "Don't open your eyes till I say."

JJ did as she was told; she took slow, tentative steps forward. She nodded when she heard Emily speak, "Yes Agent Prentiss."

The brunette pecked JJ on the lips and smiling into the kiss. "Thank you, Agent Jareau." She guided her carefully through the house. She stopped. "Don't open your eyes." She slowly undressed her girlfriend until she was completely naked. Guiding her forward again, "there is a step." She helped the blonde over the step and stopped, slowly closing the door around them. Emily squeezed JJ's hands comfortingly and let go. She reached forward grabbed the shampoo. Making sure only she was under the shower head so not to scare her girlfriend too much, she turned it on, checked the heat and then slowly bought JJ under the water. "Surprise!" Emily smirked.

JJ shivered at the lack of clothing, the cold air hit her skin and she wasn't prepared for it. She allowed herself to be moved and stepped up when told and when the water finally hit her body she shivered and reached forward to grab onto Emily. "The surprise is a shower?" She asked, her eyes still closed. She leant forward, leaning her head on Emily's shoulder, relaxing into her girlfriend completely.

"One of many, my love, one of many." Emily kisses her shoulder. She snakes her arms around the back of her girlfriend to place shampoo into her hand and starts massaging it into JJ's head. She purposely thought about the head massage, wanting even this simple act to be pleasurable. This was all about spoiling the love of her life. It took several washes to get the paint out and see her gorgeous sunshine coloured hair again. Emily then grabbed a wash cloth and body wash, she leaned out slightly of their embrace and started washing her girlfriend's body in slow circles. Every now and then she would add a kiss to a part of the body. Emily was going to spout off some Reid talk about how keeping your eyes closed alerts you're other senses, but she hoped JJ had noticed this. She did not want to ruin the moment.

JJ could feel her body relax completely against the brunette. All her worries, stresses and strains washed away as she relaxed against her girlfriend. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so alert and could feel every touch, she felt so sensitive to the touch. "Emily," She whispered as she gripped onto her girlfriends shoulders for dear life. She had never loved someone so much in her life, Emily was everything to her, more than she could have ever imagined.

The profiler had finished washing off all the paint so her girlfriend was clean, and turned on. "Keep hold of my shoulders." Emily slowly pulled back from the blonde allowing enough space for her to completely and thoroughly wash herself of paint as quickly as possible. It was all about JJ, not her getting anything in return...well hopefully later. She gasped quietly at the images flashing through her head of later. _Oops! That could have sounded a little suspicious_, Emily thought to herself.

JJ groaned at the lack of contact, her hands still firmly on her girlfriends shoulders but she still hated the distance that was now between them. "Em, quit being so far away, get back here," She complained, she tried to step forward carefully, "Baby..."

"Stay where you are, babe. I'm nearly done." Emily whispered. When she had finished washing herself she walked back forward so she was pressed up to her girlfriend's naked body, groaning slightly at the contact, but determined not to stop with the plan. She put the wash stuff down and kissed JJ passionately on the lips before pulling away again. The profiler grabbed her hands. "Slowly." Emily reminded her lovingly. She did not want to ruin this by an accident to the ER. "I've got you." She guided her out of the shower, stopping to grab a fluffy, white towel and dry off her girlfriend. Again with attention and love.

The blonde followed the brunette's instructions down to a tee. She walked slowly and let Emily guide her out of the shower, when the towel was wrapped around her she smiled, finding it hard to continue to keep her eyes shut.

Emily worked quickly. Once she had dried off JJ's body, she focused on her hair, following her girlfriend's usual process of styling it. She knew the blonde would be struggling to keep her eyes closed, "this will help." She kissed her neck reassuringly and slowly wrapped a silk scarf around JJ's closed eyes, tying it carefully at the back. She then moved away from JJ, just leaving her to stand their completely naked. "I'll be right back."

Feeling the cool material of the scarf wrap around her head she slowly opened her eyes again, she couldn't see but she at least she didn't have to fight the urge to open them now. The anticipation of what was to come began to build inside of JJ. She had no idea what Emily was doing or what she had planned but she was starting to become excited. "Hurry up!" She called after her girlfriend impatiently.

The brunette knew she was keeping JJ waiting a little bit too long, but she wanted to get it just right. She wanted her girlfriend to drool when she saw her; to come just by looking at her outfit. "Patience is a virtual, my love," she yelled to her girlfriend. "And I promise you it will be worth it." She put on a sexy, little black dress that had a slit that rose high up her leg, red killer stiletto heels. Heals she knew would drive JJ wild. She had curled her hair to flow over her shoulders and done her make-up perfectly. She kept it minimal and subtle as she knew JJ would not be wearing any herself. Grabbing the stuff she needed she walked back to the blonde. "Ok, babe. I'm here." She kissed her girlfriend affectionately as an apology. "Put your hands on my shoulders," she instructed again. She slowly dressed her girlfriend, teasing her with touches while dressing. Sexy, blue underwear and gorgeous brand new blue dress that brought out her eyes perfectly and heels. She stroked her cheek, across her jaw line, down her neck and down between her breasts and then placed a kiss where her fingers stopped. The profiler slowly pulled back, taking her hands and guided her to the nearest full length mirror. "Close your eyes," she instructed, as she removed the blind fold off again, kissed her neck and slowly stepped out of sight again so JJ would not see her straight away. "In your own time open your eyes, baby."

JJ had no idea what was going on, she wanted to ask, she was intrigued but she could tell Emily had gone to a lot of effort so she didn't want to ruin it. She went along with it, did as she was told. Emily guided her perfectly, her hands always gentle, her kisses soft making her tremble. She felt herself let out a breath she didn't realise she was holding when she heard Emily tell her to open her eyes. Slowly but surely she did and what she saw was nothing like she had expected. She looked at herself in the mirror stood there in the most perfect blue dress, _damn my girl has got taste, _she thought to herself as she smiled widely. "Emily..." She turned to look at her girlfriend who was out of sight. When she set her eyes on her she felt her heart skip a beat, _wow... _She tried to speak but her words failed her. Stepping towards her stunning girlfriend she looked her up and down, "Emily you look beautiful." She reached out, taking her girlfriends hands in her own, smiling widely. "I don't know what this is all about...but just getting to see you there looking absolutely stunning is enough for me." Pulling the brunette to her she pressed a loving kiss to her sweet lips.

When they broke the kiss Emily beamed at her girlfriend. "Do you like your surprise?"

JJ grinned from ear to ear, "I love it," She wrapped her arms around her girlfriend's neck and linked her fingers together behind. "And I love you, so much." She kissed the brunette again quickly.

"I love you more." Emily kissed her again. "There is a problem though..." Emily sighed, looking sad, almost heart-broken with her best puppy dog eyes.

"A problem?" She asked with concern, "What problem?"

"This isn't quite good enough for you...I wanted to show you how amazing you are and this isn't amazing enough." Emily sighed again dramatically.

JJ listened carefully, "This is amazing, it is enough..." She gripped onto Emily's hands, "Honestly."

Emily looked deep into JJ's eyes. "Honestly...no it's not! Know where near..." The brunette turned her broken face slowly into a smile. "That is why this isn't your actual surprise."

JJ was getting more and more confused as the conversation went on. "Alright Miss-Cryptic, care to just tell me what's going on then?"

The profiler leant forward and kissed her fiercely. "Follow..." Then gave her a small peck on the lips. "Me." She rested her hands on her shoulders and slowly slides them down JJ's arms taking her hands and pulling her out into the darkness of the apartment.

The blonde linked her fingers with her counterparts; she walked slowly through the now dark apartment with a raised eyebrow. It wasn't until she spotted the light flicker of candles from the living room that she realised where they were heading. She let go of one of Emily's hands and proceeded to walk alongside her down the hallway. She walked through the opened door slowly and gazed around the room, amazed. Rose petals covered the light hardwood floor, candles were placed sporadically around the room and as she looked up at the ceiling she noticed twinkling lights hanging. Blankets laid on the floor (they were yet to go out and actually by any furniture), pillows up one end and a basket the other. JJ's mouth was hung open in awe. She couldn't believe what she was seeing, how much trouble Emily had gone to. Turning to face her girlfriend JJ squeezed her hand. Struggling to find the words she slowly brought her hands up to cup Emily's cheeks. She stroked her cheeks gently as she slowly leant forward. Brushing her lips to her girlfriends she smiled. She kissed her lips sweetly and pulled back, her hands still cupping Emily's cheeks "Emily Prentiss you're the best thing to have ever happened to me," She started, tears filling in her eyes, she couldn't believe what her girlfriend had done for her. "I honestly couldn't imagine my life without you and I never want to." She kissed her again but this time slowly; she let her lips linger longer than before.

Emily deepened the kiss, putting her heart and soul into it, but she knew she wanted to explain all this first. "Sergio is a miracle worker." Emily laughed, "I never knew he had the talent."

JJ swatted at her arm, "Quit trying to be funny at a moment like this," She felt her tears slip down her cheeks silently.

The brunette took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I've never been good at expressing my emotions. My whole life I was trained to hold them back, to not feel, to compartmentalise." Tears welled in her eyes. She was fighting a battle between letting them go and following the instructions from the back of her head that screamed at her. The voice of her mother, the politician. "Prentiss' don't show emotions," she whispered it out loud by accident.

JJ knew full well her girlfriend didn't express her emotions a lot, it just meant that when she did it meant more. It had taken them months of being together before she would say she loved the blonde and JJ had to say it first, maybe a month before Emily felt she could say it back. JJ always knew she felt the same, she could feel it, see it in her eyes it was only a matter of time before she felt comfortable enough to say it. When her girlfriend spoke for a second time she stroked her cheek gently, "Sweetie you know I never ask you to, I know it makes you feel uncomfortable, you don't have to do anything you don't want to..."

Emily looked shocked at her girlfriend. "No, NO! I will do this, I want to do this. Just give me a moment..." Emily closed her eyes and took a couple of long deep breaths.

JJ nodded, she pulled her hand from Emily's cheek and waited patiently.

The brunette slowly opened her eyes and looked into the loving eyes of her girlfriend. "When I stepped into the BAU for the first time I was like you at a Redskins game; excited out of my mind. But I was terrified. It was my shot. It was my chance to do something that I had dreamed about; to do the one thing that I had spent my entire career working towards. Finally I was a profiler." Emily beamed, but then her face fell slightly. "Then it all fell apart, slipped through my fingers before I had a chance to try and stop it. 'There has been a mistake'. I can still hear Hotch's words as clear as the day I heard them. I remember being shocked, hurt, confused, devastated, but then you came in the office." The profiler reaches forward and grabs her girlfriend's hands and gives them a squeeze. "The first words I heard you say were 'excuse me, we are getting started'. Not at all romantic, or poignant, or memorable. But I remember them. I remember you. You were wearing this white long sleeve shirt with a grey border, black pants and wrapping yourself in this black shawl. You were beautiful, everything about you. Your gorgeous blue eyes and your straight sunshine hair. I knew I wanted to get to know you, just from that brief encounter. That day was one of the worst and best days of my life. The best because I saw you." Tears leak free and run down the brunette's face. "You're my best-friend, my lover, my soul-mate, my destiny. I trust you with my life and my heart. You make me feel safe and happy and loved. Tonight is special not just because we have this new flat together but because today, all those years ago, is the anniversary of that time you walked into Hotch's doorway and changed my life. I love you Jennifer. I know I should say it more, but I love you so much. I always will. It sounds so cliché, but you are the one and I promise I will spend every moment trying to show you that."

Tears pricked at JJ's eyes as she listened to her girlfriend speak. Everything she was saying was so heartfelt, she could just see the love shining through in the brown eyes, she knew every word was the truth and nothing less. The cold tears slid down her cheeks as she reached to take Emily's hands in her own. Emily wasn't the type to spill her emotions, she didn't tell JJ she loved her everyday but JJ wasn't the type to need to hear it every day. The look Emily gave her, the way her eyes shined when she looked at her told JJ just how much the brunette was in love with her and that was more than enough. Words could never describe how they felt about one another. The blonde took in every word Emily had to say and when she stopped speaking JJ knew it was her turn. JJ smiled, the smiling reaching her eyes and making them sparkle. "Emily Elizabeth Prentiss," She started trying to find the words to express how this gesture and her girlfriend's words made her feel, "When you joined the BAU everyone was so sceptical," She squeezed Emily's hand reassuringly, "Mostly because of what happened with Elle before you came and the nature of you joining but everyone was unsure. I knew the moment I saw you that none of us had anything to worry about." She smiled. "We started to work together, get to know each other, geez I developed such a crush on you," She blushed and laughed softly, "I felt like a lovesick teenager again, whenever you were in the room I couldn't focus, I kept staring." She brought her hand to her lover's cheek and brought her lips to hers in a gentle kiss. "I can still remember our first kiss as if it were just yesterday," JJ pulled away from the brunette and walked towards the blanket. She slowly lowered herself down onto the floor and looked up at Emily, patting the spot beside her for her to join her.

Emily's smile lights up her whole face. She is so relieved and proud of herself for expressing her emotions. _Take that Mother!_ The brunette looks down at JJ, "Would Madam like a beverage?" She asks in her best butler voice, perfected from years living in the mansions of Ambassador Prentiss.

JJ laughed, "I would love one, thank you." JJ looked dreamily at her girlfriend as she watched her, "This is all really amazing babe, I don't know how you managed to do this but it means so much."

The brunette walked over the cooler, took out some wine and poured it. She handed a glass to JJ. "The wine we had on our first date, and I told you already Sergio is a miracle worker." Emily smirked. She was trying so hard, but there was still a small part of her that was highly uncomfortable about putting herself out there. It was nothing to do with JJ; she loved her more than anything in the world. She was more comfortable around her than anyone else in her life. It was simply that she was fighting a life-long defence mechanism, and even cracking jokes was an improvement to when she first dated JJ. Yet the blonde had stuck around, despite all this. "How on earth did I get so lucky? Anyone else would run," she whispered, more to herself.

JJ received the wine with a smile and immediately took a sip, just that taste took her back to their first date. The blonde reached forward and took Emily's hand in her own. "I can still remember sitting there beside you willing myself to make a move and hoping you will at the same time." She smiled at the memory, "I was so nervous, you looked so hot in those tight jeans and fitted shirt," JJ smirked at the memory, "I dropped the cinema tickets just so you would bend over."

Emily laughed and dramatically opened her mouth in fake shock. "Well remember when I choked on my wine and spat it out so sexily over the table, and probably you...that was all because your leg accidentally grazed mine under the table. I nearly threw you on the table and fucked you right there..."

JJ smirked at her girlfriend; she sidled up to her and wrapped an arm around her waist. "Oh yeah _accidentally,_" JJ winked at Emily, "Want to know a secret?"

"Agent Jareau, are you going where I think you're going?" Emily smirked.

JJ pressed a kiss to Emily's cheek before moving her lips to hover over her ear. Her hot breath tickled Emily's ear as she whispered seductively, "I knew exactly what I was doing." JJ pressed a kiss to Emily's ear, "I'd had a few glasses of wine, I'm surprised you didn't notice the way I was looking at you, I had this perfect view of your cleavage and it was driving me crazy." JJ's tongue flicked out and swiped at Emily's ear, "You were driving me crazy."

Emily groaned from both JJ's actions and words. She turned her head to look into her girlfriend's eyes. She placed her glass down and brought her hands to cup JJ's breasts. She leant in and kissed her heatedly on the lips, leaning back ever so slightly so her lips were inches apart. "I may have undone a few buttons over the night."

The blonde let out a shaky breath as Emily's hands covered her breasts. Her lips attacked Emily's with as much enthusiasm as the brunette was showing. When Emily spoke she felt her body tremble. Hitching her dress up to her hips JJ lifted her leg and straddled the brunette's waist. Biting down on her bottom lip she placed her hands on her shoulders and let the desire and lust fill her eyes. "Well, that's just naughty Agent Prentiss, really naughty."

The brunette smiled deviously, "You want to know something _really_ naughty?"

JJ gripped onto Emily's shoulders as she nodded, "Definitely."

Emily ever so slowly leaned forward, hovering over her girlfriend's ear she whispered, "I'm not wearing any panties."

JJ's eyes shut involuntarily and a groan left her lips. It drove JJ crazy knowing she had purposefully left her panties off just for her. "You're so sexy." The blonde whispered seductively before pressing her lips to the brunette's fiercely. She forced her tongue between the hot lips and slowly pushed her girlfriend down until she was lying beneath her. Shifting up to her waist JJ leant down and pressed a kiss to her girlfriend's neck. "Tonight I am going to show you how thankful I _really_ am, Agent Prentiss, I hope you're ready for me."


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note**: Hey guys, thanks again for all of the reviews, story alerts, favs etc :) it means a lot to us! Sorry we haven't updated in a while, been working on a LOT of material, watch this space!

Time to meet the parents, let's wish Emily luck...

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><p>Jennifer Jareau never thought she had felt more nervous than she did tonight. In her mind she had never been in such a situation before which caused her to be so worried, so nervous about the outcome. She was generally such a poised woman, she kept herself together, she was known for being organised but tonight she was crumbling. Tonight she could feel her heart beating in her chest harder than ever before. Tonight her parents, the two people who had brought her up, who had done everything in their power to bring her into a safe, secure world, the two people who had raised her perfectly were going to meet the love of her life. Mr and Mrs Jareau were going to meet Emily Prentiss. JJ studied her reflection. She had done everything in her power to ensure that tonight went off without a hitch. Her parents had offered to come over and take the couple out for dinner and Jennifer knew she couldn't find any excuse not to. Despite having been dating officially for nearly 6 months the Jareau's hadn't met Emily and JJ knew that was her fault. Her Mother, despite taking a while to get used to the idea, suggested meeting Emily but JJ never found the right time. She always found a reason to cancel or decline the offer. Having bought an apartment with the brunette and knowing that they were definitely in it for the long haul Jennifer had finally agreed to her Mother's suggestion and now here she was. She stood, still staring at her reflection in the mirror, studying every inch of her body, <em>I need to look perfect, this needs to go off without a hitch, they need to love her as much as I do, <em>JJ told herself. _I don't know what I'll do if they don't like her, they're my family but she's my girlfriend, she's who I want to spend my life with._

Emily Prentiss was outside the bedroom doing some secret pacing. She knew how her girlfriend wanted this to go...perfect, but it did not stop the whole pre-meeting nerves. She had decided to pace, making sure JJ did not see her, to think and compartmentalise. She needed to compose herself, to be the calm one, the yin to JJ's yang. The brunette was not going to pretend that it hurt a little that her girlfriend had managed to delay this so tactfully. Irrational thoughts, well she hoped they were irrational, swept through her mind. _Is Jennifer ashamed of me? Why has she been hiding me? Are her parents going to hate me? Is that why she has been putting this off?_ She closed her eyes, kept pacing but took deep breaths beginning the compartmentalising ritual. When the worry and stress, and hurt, had been looked away she opened her eyes again walking past their bedroom. Glancing in she saw the blonde looking at herself in the mirror. She did not need to use her profiling skills to see that JJ was nervous and panicking a little. Her profiling skills screamed at her to look at her girlfriend's posture and stance to prove this, but she ignored it knowing no-one wanted to be profiled. She simply needs to be the one that knew her girlfriend inside out. The brunette walked into the room, stood behind JJ and wrapped her arms around her waist. Resting her head on her shoulder, she looked at her in the mirror. "It will be ok. I will be right by your side the whole time. We will do this together." Emily placed a light, calming kiss to her neck. "I love you." She knew she did not say it often, but tonight she would consciously make an exception to that rule.

Feeling the brunette's presence behind her made her tense slightly. JJ had been lost in her thoughts, she knew what Emily must be thinking and feeling but things were difficult, complicated and she didn't want to have a conversation about it. Turning around in Emily's arms she looked up at her girlfriend, worry evident in her eyes. "Em, I know what you must be thinking..."

The profiler put her head on JJ's shoulder and kissed it. Realistically it was so she could grimace at her girlfriend's words in private. _Clearly I need strong walls for tonight_, she thought to herself. She _really_ did not want to have this conversation before they went out. She wanted, no _needed_ to forget about all that part and focus on the dinner. Placing even thicker walls to mask her feelings, JJ always had a way of cracking them a little; she placed another kiss on her shoulder and looked up smiling. "You look beautiful. Have you fed Sergio yet? I think he needs feeding." She knew this would probably fail, but she needed time to build her walls.

JJ shrugged out of Emily's arms and walked over to her dresser, her back to the brunette. "Em, don't change the subject, you know I hate it when you do that." She picked up her clutch bag and rooted through it, making sure she had everything she needed it was only a matter of time before they had to leave.

_Why can she never see that I want to let it go?_ Emily sighs. "I'm _not_ avoiding, cause there is _nothing_ to avoid. I just suddenly remembered, you know he claws the furniture when he gets upset. We are meeting the parents, everyone gets worried about that. So I understand that you are worried." She turns herself around and reaches to look at her phone. She finds a text from Morgan. 'Good luck princess. x' She uses the welcome distraction, focusing on texting him.

As Emily spoke she felt herself grow more and more frustrated. Emily had no idea how she was feeling, she thought she did but she didn't. It all lead to her underlying issues which she didn't wish to talk to Emily about, she didn't think she needed to, she just imagined her girlfriend would comfort her and deal with it not pretend to understand. JJ picked up her clutch bag and headed for the door, _who's avoiding now. "_We're going to be late." She muttered fleeing the room as quickly as she could.

When JJ left the room, Emily could breathe again. She knew this was not going to be good. She knew they were both keeping things from each other. Part of her was tempted to bail; JJ had bailed from this meeting enough times herself. Morgan had already jokingly texted about going for a drink after the dinner together if she needed one. Maybe she would. But deep down she never could do that to her girlfriend. Despite the fact that they could not even stay in the same room together, this was a big moment which made it all so much worse. _Shit! Shit! Shit!_

"Mom," Jennifer Jareau approached the table and looked at her Mother and Father sat beside one another. She took a deep breath and smiled widely, the smile failing to reach her eyes.

"Jennifer," Mrs Jareau stood from her seat and walked around the table towards her daughter. "It is so good to see you." She engulfed her daughter in a hug and pulled back after a moment.

"It's good to see you too, Mom." JJ relished in the feeling of her Mom holding her, she couldn't even remember the last time she had seen her parents or been home, she had tried to avoid going home at all costs. "Dad," The blonde looked towards her Father who had followed her Mother's lead and stood to greet her.

"Hey Kiddo." The older man wrapped his daughter in a bear like hug.

JJ felt tears prick at her eyes as she held onto the man she looked up to tightly. She felt horrible for not visiting, for not seeing or speaking to her parents more often than she did. She blamed it on work but really that was just an excuse and Jennifer Jareau knew it. Pulling back from her Dad she suddenly remembered where she was. Swallowing the lump in her throat and forcing away the tears she turned to look at Emily. Taking her girlfriends hand she looked at her parents. "Mom, Dad, this is Emily." She smiled softly.

Emily took a breath, put a smile on her face and stepped forward. She extended her hand to JJ's father, her parent's etiquette training pouring through her actions. "Mr and Mrs Jareau..." She shook his hand firmly with confidence in a very business-like manner and then extended her hand to her girlfriend's mom. "It is very nice to meet you. Thank you for inviting me to dine with you." She did not dare look at the blonde; she just needed to get through this in one piece and leave. She did not need to be reminded of the awkwardness between them.

"Let's all sit then shall we?" JJ suggested with a fake smile. She proceeded to sit in the chair opposite her mother and immediately met her gaze. "So, Mom, how have you been? You look good."

"I have been fine darling, you know me, always fine." Mrs Jareau commented.

_Just like me, always fine, exactly what everyone in the Jareau family claims but which is never even remotely true,_the blonde thought to herself.

"How are the two of you getting along in your new apartment?" Mr Jareau looked between the women as he said this, his question clearly directed to the both of them together.

Emily internally cringes at this question. _We were getting along great. Amazing sex. Romance. Perfect...well it was but now we can't even look at each other and can't be in the same room. Oh god I hope that's not a sign!_ "Wonderfully well, thank you Mr Jareau." Emily beams. "I couldn't ask for it any better." Her heart clenched at that _very_ untrue statement.

"Definitely, Emily said it all really," JJ couldn't believe she was sat here, _lying_ to her parents. Up until now it had been working out perfectly, JJ loved living with Emily. She loved waking up to her in the morning and going to bed with her each and every night. She loved knowing they were coming home to _their _home. "I love living with Emily." JJ felt her lips curl into yet another fake smile. Inside she wanted to cry. So much had become evident tonight, so much they were hiding from one another and so much that was killing JJ inside. JJ distracted herself by picking up the menu and beginning to flick through to decide what she wanted to eat. "I think I'm going to have the pasta," JJ quickly changed the subject, smiling at her mother and father quickly before looking down at the menu again. _I wish I could just look at her, I wish things could just be forgotten. _JJ was breaking inside.

The brunette felt like she was dying inside, how on earth she survived like this before was beyond her. "Good choice," Emily looks between JJ's parents. "My mother says this establishment serves exquisite food." This was true in a passing, polite comment a while ago, but that made it sound like they were close. She rarely spoke to her mother. The voice of her mother sounded loud and clearly in her head now, 'always give a gift'. In her families eyes that meant expensive and classy. But she had not got anything. She turned in her seat and signalled a waiter. The profiler decided to buy the table, JJ's parents, the most expensive bottle of wine they had. A wine that would compliment their food. Of course making sure they charged it to the Prentiss account. Being the daughter of an Ambassador, there were accounts everywhere. "Una bottiglia del vostro vino più costoso che complimentarmi con i nostri pasti, per favore. Metterla sul disegno di legge Prentiss." The waiter nodded and disappeared off. Emily turned back around in her seat.

Emily's outburst caused JJ to raise an eyebrow and turn to look at her girlfriend in surprise. _Where the hell did that come from? _JJ could see her parents thinking exactly the same as her. JJ leant towards her girlfriend, placing her hand on her arm she looked at her. "Em, what was that?" She whispered with a raised eyebrow.

The brunette whispered back. JJ's hand on her arm was an odd feeling. Usually it brought reassurance and love, and it did, just with all the tension she could not help feeling a little uncomfortable by it. "Just a little Italian. I ordered some wine for the table," Emily shrugged nonchalantly.

JJ felt herself grit her teeth together as Emily spoke. Choosing to ignore Emily now JJ pulled away from her and turned back to her parents. "Let's order shall we?"

More than an hour later the couple and JJ's parents had finished their food. JJ couldn't help but feel that this whole evening had been a disaster. Before the couple had even left the apartment they had begun fighting and it left an awkward tension between the two of them. Inside JJ's heart was breaking, she was sat beside the woman she loved and opposite her parents trying to show them why she loved this woman so much when right at this moment part of her was wondering if she even did as much as she thought she did. She came here to show Emily off when in actual fact she wanted to scream at her to leave and to hide her away. As the plates were cleared away JJ slowly stood, "Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom." She gripped onto her clutch bag as if for support and a fake smile later she was gone.

Emily watched JJ walk away, under her walls her heart was screaming at her but she was determined not to listen. JJ's parents seemed like perfectly reasonable people. They were kind and caring and loved her daughter. She could see where JJ got her good looks, beautiful personality, kind heart and all those attributes she had fallen head over heels in love with. She could not ignore the nagging voice at the back of her head, _Why had JJ not wanted her to meet them? Maybe she really was ashamed of her? Or didn't love her enough for that step until it was almost compulsory as they were living together._ She was also jealous, her whole life she wished she had had a family like JJ's, a loving family. Something she would never experience with her own. Brought out of her thoughts she realised the table had gone silent. "Please let me tell you how wonderfully you raised your daughter. She is a testimony to both of you." Emily smiled. It was fake, but something she had perfected over the years.

Mr Jareau watched Emily carefully; when she had finished speaking he pulled his napkin from his lap and threw it onto the table. "Miss Prentiss," He started, his eyes narrowing and his anger thick in his voice. "If you knew anything about my daughter, which you claim you do, you would be aware of the fact she is in the bathroom now _crying!" _The last word was almost yelled, the anger in Mr Jareau's voice was clearly evident. "I only need to take one guess that YOU are the reason for that." Mr Jareau stopped, his wife's hand now clutching his arm, a sign to tell him to calm down.

Emily's heart stopped as soon as she hears her name. Her profiling skills could read every bit of his body language. He was angry; mad; furious. She had ruined this though her stupidity. Her walls were cracking through a sudden fear that this could be the end. JJ would not choose between them, she would not ask her to. She would go; happily if she thought for a moment being with her would cause a family rift. It was ok for the brunette; she did not really feel like she had a family. But she knew JJ's family was everything to her and she had ruined that. She was conflicted, while listening to him shout at her. Fear took over. She was split just like the walls that divided her. Part of her wanted to cry, to apologise, to explain, to leave if that was best. The other half was not there, was taking his words and bouncing them away. The other half was numb, the trained Prentiss always polite, no emotions, do not cause a scene, apologise in the vaguest manor and try and distract. Sadly that one won. "Sir, I apologise, we got into an understanding before we arrived. I assure you I love your daughter with my whole heart." Even Emily knew she now sounded like a robot. No emotion. No feeling. Nothing. She was just numb. The brunette felt herself sinking, she felt lost, but she needed a distraction. As desperation took hold, she was about to say her phone was going but she saw JJ return out the corner of her eye.

As JJ approached the table once again, this time with puffy red eyes, Mr Jareau sent a glare to Emily.

"Sorry about that." JJ pulled out her chair and sat down, "I'm not feeling too great," She lied, she felt fine, she just couldn't deal with this anymore. She looked at her parents and felt her heart break. She had brought Emily here to meet her parents because she intended for Emily to be a part of their family, _maybe it was wishful thinking._ "Mom, Dad," She looked between her parents, "I really would prefer to get home now, as I said I'm not feeling too great. Since you're staying I will come and meet you at the hotel tomorrow, maybe we could go for lunch?" She purposefully only invited herself.

"That will be lovely, kiddo." Mr Jareau stood and walked around to his daughter. He helped her out of the chair and pulled her into a hug. "You go home and get some sleep, your Mother and I will see you tomorrow."

JJ nodded, she smiled sadly at her Mother before turning to Emily. "Em, can we go please?"

Emily barely reacted. "Of course. Goodbye Mr and Mrs Jareau. Thank you for the dinner." At that she nodded her head as a gesture and walked towards the exit. _Not really any point trying anymore_, she thought to herself as she exited into the night to wait for JJ.

The car ride home was done in complete silence. The blonde just concentrating on the road ahead, while the brunette just stared out the window.

Entering their flat was just as uncomfortable. Both walked into their bedroom without a second glance at each other. Emily felt her walls coming down as soon as she stepped through the front door. She could feel the pain and past events catching up with her. She knew she was in the doghouse, she knew she was also hurt, heartbroken and terrified. She could not deal with sharing a bed with JJ. She did not want to. She walked forward grabbed her pillows off the bed, a blanket and marched out the room to sleep on the couch. But not before dumping her stuff on the new couch on her way to the drinks cabinet. The profiler poured herself a huge glass of Scotch and downed it in one. Instantly refilling her glass for another.

As soon as the blonde stepped through the door she'd wished she hadn't. You could cut the tension within the flat with a knife. JJ had started to wish she had gone back to the hotel with her parents instead of coming home with Emily, it hardly felt like their home when they weren't even speaking. JJ stood motionless beside her dresser pretending not to notice as Emily grabbed her things and left the room. She placed her clutch bag down on her dresser, took off her jewellery and slipped out of her dress. She fished some sweats and an old shirt from her dresser and pulled the items on. She could hear the brunette in the living room not even trying to keep the noise down. JJ took a deep breath, _I'm not going to let her embarrass me like that, I won't let her get away with it._ In a few strides JJ was stood at the living room door staring in at her girlfriend. "What the fuck is your problem?" JJ yelled as she bombarded her way into the room.

The Scotch hit Emily hard, considering she had already had wine, it burned in her throat. But it was helping numb her pain. She knew JJ would not be able to just go to bed. She knew there would be a fight. It was the way JJ worked. She needed to talk things out. Emily personally preferred to bury them. That is ultimately why usually they complimented each other both drawing on each other's strengths and weaknesses. However, during nights like tonight the brunette knew it could turn into a clash of the Titans. She was right of course as she heard the blonde's angry footsteps and yell at her guns blazing. Emily, however, did not react or turn around or move. Except to pour herself another glass and down it. Alcohol seemed comforting.

JJ could feel her blood boiling within her, her girlfriend was simply going to ignore her. "Don't you dare ignore me, Emily Prentiss!" JJ shouted angrily, "The whole idea of tonight was for you to meet my parents and you get there and turn into this arrogant, fake, _bitch!" _JJ shook her head in disbelief, "You have no idea how much you have embarrassed me, how you have made me look to my parents. They think I date inconsiderate assholes now!" JJ was fuming, her hands balled into fists and she clenched them tightly.

Emily whipped around holding the bottle in one hand, glass half full in the other. "Maybe you just should have cancelled again then," Emily yelled back. She did not plan to yell, but at JJ's words she felt the alcohol mix with the hurt and confusion of all her anxieties and suddenly all she felt was pain and anger. "You clearly felt embarrassed by me already. If you knew I was going to be such a fuck-up why did you take me in the first place!"

"If you actually _bothered_ to talk to me you would have realised that I am not embarrassed by you!" JJ spat back, anger coursing through her veins. "You're so caught up in the fact you don't want anyone to know about your past that you don't give a crap about anybody else's!" JJ shook her head, she couldn't get herself to calm down, words just spilled from her lips before she could even think. "If you actually asked about my past, if you actually took interest in my family and what matters to _me_ you might know that I don't talk or _see _my parents all that often, if ever! If you actually _cared_ you would know why that is too." JJ spat angrily.

"You _seriously_ expected me to sit down with you just before we go and meet your parents for the first time and delve into that. We knew about this dinner for weeks JJ, fucking _weeks_ and you never said a word." Emily could feel her grip getting tighter and tighter around the glass, her knuckles turning white. "You _never_ ask me about my past. Ever. So what, you don't give a crap about me either? And right, I don't care because I didn't get Garcia to come into our flat and set up that evening of 'firsts'. I love you but right, I'm a total _bitch_. You constantly tell me it's ok that I don't say I love you enough was that all a lie too?...you hate that about me too!" Inside she was crushing; it was one of her worst fears that she was not good enough for the blonde. That her personality, political training and past would affect her relationship...and it was happening. She was finding it hard to breath between the anger and the fear.

"I don't ask about your past Emily because I know you don't want to talk about it and it would get me _nowhere_, but I have never told you not to ask about mine, I have never warned you off, I want you to _know_!" JJ wanted this all to be a quick fix but she knew it wouldn't be, there was months of tension building up and it had to be dealt with once and for all. "No that wasn't a lie! You know that's bullshit! I don't have an issue with you not saying you love me when I can see it in your _eyes_," JJ's voice was still slick with anger as before, "But recently I haven't seen it, Em. All you care about is keeping those freaking walls up so that nobody can get close to you! All you care about is keeping enough distance so that nobody can know the _real_ Emily. Well here's a wake-up call for you, Agent Prentiss, I already _know_ the real Emily! I fell in _love_ with the _real _Emily! Now she's putting up walls and keeping me out for no real reason at all." JJ could feel herself calming slightly, she was done with shouting, she needed to get through to Emily, she needed to make her see what she was saying was right. "If you bothered to ask me why I hadn't introduced you to my parents sooner, why I hadn't jumped at the chance of you meeting them way before this, I would have told you. I would have told you. I would have been honest with you! If you _bothered_ to ask me, Emily!" JJ felt tears prick at her eyes as she gazed at her girlfriend. She was convinced she was going to be spending the rest of her life with the woman in front of her, but now she wasn't so sure.

Emily knew JJ was right about the walls, but they were her defence mechanism. Without them she was scared what would happen. Her walls held a lifetime of pain, hurt, a full spectrum of emotions that she had had to deal with alone. Her anger had disappeared and now she just felt like she had fucked it all up, and more than anything that she _really _did not deserve the blonde. "My whole life I've been alone. I never had a family, or friends, I travelled everywhere. I had to learn entire new languages just to survive. My only companions were the staff in my house who were decades older than me and even then they had jobs to do. I had no-one. So I built up ways to handle that. I am sorry that gets in the way. I am sorry that fucks everything up, but I don't know any different! You think I _enjoy_ struggling, watching us fall apart." She downed the rest of her drink from her glass. She could not cry she was too numb for it. "I try, I try so hard to be someone who is worthy of you. To be a different person. To open up and _talk_. To change _decades_ worth of programming. I'm sorry I failed you." Thoughts were running through Emily's head, but she could not let go of that one insecurity. "But you are at fault too!" Anger building again. "If you knew me so well, if you _know_ that I am like how I am why did you not notice that I was suffering too about this whole thing."

"Em, I never asked you to be a different person! I never asked you to change; I knew exactly what I was letting myself in for when I bought this apartment with you." JJ informed her as she stepped closer, "You have problems which I clearly haven't addressed as I should have and likewise so do I," JJ didn't like to talk about her issues but she knew eventually she would have to if they were ever going to get past this. JJ buried them away inside her for so long that even she thought they had gone for a while until they resurfaced when she met Emily and tried to deal with the impending need for her to meet her parents. "I know I am at fault, Em, I have never pretended that I am not and I'm sorry if I didn't notice, but you didn't notice me either did you? I have so much inside that I need to get out," JJ started, tears spilling down her cold, pale cheeks. "So much that I want to talk to you about. I have never spoken to anyone about any of it, all this crap that is inside of my head, all this crap which has made this a problem in the first place!" She took a deep breath before continuing, "I've never felt the need to talk about it before, I've never been so close to someone that it's been important to tell them what's going on in my head," She paused, "But then I met you," JJ shook her head, "You're my girlfriend, Emily, I should be able to talk to you about this stuff but I can't..." The tears continued to fall, "You don't make me feel like I can talk to you."

The brunette listened intently to JJ. _How could she have not known her girlfriend was suffering so much? She was a profiler for fucks sake. They were in love. She should have noticed this stuff._ Her heart was beating in her chest, beating so hard and so fast it felt like it would escape at any moment. She was willing herself not to cry, especially seeing her girlfriend break down in front of her very eyes. She has physically hurting stopping herself. She could feel her cheeks ache that all too familiar feeling when bottling tears. But then came the final blow. That final sentence that stopped her heart and broke it literally in two within seconds. Her breathing stopped and she was sure she was going to be sick. Her grip became impossible tight on the thin glass she was holding. It smashed in her hands, cutting her hand. Not that she noticed or even cared. She could feel the blood running down her hand and a faint humm of pain somewhere screaming at her. Her nervous system was crying out to stop her from clinching her fist around the glass left in her hand but she did not listen. She was losing her battle with her tears and the air was suffocating. She had to get out. Get far away from this flat, from JJ, from everything. She looked at JJ, her walls in her eyes completely dropping. She had lost the energy to keep them up. Decade's worth of pain, memories and secrets and then this heartbreak shining through them. "Then maybe this was a bad idea," she whispered before she walked past the blonde straight out the flat without looking back.

JJ stared at the now closed front door. She wasn't sure what had just happened, she felt numb. _She's left me; she's really gone and left me. _The events of the evening began to hit JJ like a sharp knife right through her chest. She watched the door, standing silently at the entrance to the living room. She willed the door to open, for Emily to emerge apologising and saying what a mistake she had made. It didn't happen. _She's not coming back. _Tears began to fly down JJ's cheeks like no tomorrow. Sobs racked her body as she slowly slid down the living room door to the ground. She pulled her knees to her chest and held them there tightly, her arms wrapped around them protectively as she sobbed into the material of her sweat pants. _I fucked it up, she's gone, she doesn't love me, she's really gone._

An hour later the door still hadn't opened and JJ was still sat sobbing into her knees. She finally found the strength to stand herself up. She took herself off towards the bedroom slowly, looking throughout the flat as she did, too many memories shining back at her. She stood at the entrance to their bedroom and looked around the room, _I can still smell her in here, I can almost feel her._ JJ walked to the dresser and opened the top drawer slowly; she pulled out one of Emily's shirts, her favourite shirt and proceeded to get undressed. Dressing herself in only her panties and Emily's shirt JJ began to pad her way down the hallway towards the guest bedroom. She opened the door to reveal the empty, dark, unfinished room. She flicked the light on and immediately was drawn to the half painted wall opposite her. _We never did finish this; the same mark is there, untouched. _She stared at the body shaped paint mark on the wall and felt her sobs only get worse. Flicking off the light she closed the door behind her and walked to the centre of the room. This room held so many memories for JJ, so many happy memories of them together. They'd only just got the apartment; they were so excited that it was theirs together they wanted to celebrate by decorating the guest bedroom together. JJ sat silently in the middle of the room, darkness surrounding her. She lay down, her head resting on her hands as she pulled herself into a fetal position. There she laid, sobs racking her weak, limb body as she cried over her girlfriend and what she'd lost.


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks to you all for reading and reviewing! Please continue - we both love reading what you think! :) And on with the huge turning point in JJ/Emily's life together...

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><p>The brunette staggered into the flat desperately trying not to trip over her own feet and fall on her face. She had lost track how much she had actually drank, her mind was too fuzzy to count properly anyway. She had broken down as soon as she left the flat and sobbed all the way to the nearest bar where she slumped like an old wino and drank. Emily stared into space, only looking down vaguely to drink more. An extremely good-looking, yet drunk and desperate man swayed up to her leaning on the bar next to her looking at her with 'I want to fuck you' eyes. Not that she noticed. Her thoughts were totally focused entirely on JJ. She barely even noticed as he reached out and stroked her arm trying to get her attention. She did notice, however, when his hand landed on her inner thigh and she turned quickly pushing him away. He smirked at her feistiness, reached into his pocket pulled out a permanent marker and wrote 'Call me 202-312-1098 Pete'. He leaned forward placed a sloppy kiss on her check, stroked up her arm causing her to shiver with disgust, which he smirked at again obviously thinking it was lust, and staggered off. She breathed in relief, and went back to thinking and drinking.<p>

She just needed a release to her agony, to not feel anymore cause it hurt too damn much. Not only her heart, but also her hand. It felt good, a way of punishing herself for fucking up the best thing that ever happened to her. The cuts still had odd pieces of glass in it, but she did not care. It had become an accidental form of self-harm. _At least the Scotch would have cleaned it_. Sitting at the bar she analysed over and over again in her head the events of the evening, their relationship and what lead her to be sat there not knowing if she had a girlfriend to return to. It was her lack of emotional depth that had ruined it all. Her avoidance of talking, her closed off behaviour when she should be open, her walls, her upbringing. It was her. _How are we supposed to be together if the problem is me? How can she say she doesn't want me to 'be a different person' if I am the problem? How am I supposed to talk about my past? I have no idea what will happen if I allow all that to surface. She will never see me the same again. She could leave me, be disgusted...but then she already is. __Maybe I shouldn't go back? Maybe I should just leave. I can move, I'm used to moving._ Emily sat there going over and over all these thoughts, but the one thing that remained constant was her undying love for Jennifer Jareau. She would do anything for her. She could not leave without her. It was these thoughts that got her falling off her bar stall, clutching the bar to steady herself, turning and wobbling back to her, no _their_ home. She would fight for her. She had to, she would literally die without _her_ blonde Agent.

The apartment was pitch black. Her stomach twisted not sure what to expect when she entered. She walked to the lounge and peered in. Nothing. She swayed towards their bedroom, but again the room was empty. _She's gone. You fucked this up Emily Prentiss, you fucked this right up. She must have gone to her stay with her parents. Well it's well and truly over now._ Silent tears poured down her face and she clenched her messed up hand enjoying the pain of the glass. She deserved to suffer for breaking the woman she loved and the pain helped that guilt. Though it did not help lessen her heartbreak. She stumbled into her bathroom trying to wash the number off her arm but gave up when it would not budge. Walking into their bedroom, she grabbed some of her sweats and put them on with an old Yale t-shirt. Returning to the lounge, she started to pick up the glass off the floor trying to distract herself while she thought. _Fuck this! I'm going over there. Her dad can beat me up for all I care, I have to fix this!_ She ran, tripping a little, back towards the front door. She did not even care that she was bare foot. But she stopped abruptly hearing something. She stood stock still listening in the darkness. It was coming from the guest bedroom. Emily reached out her hand over the handle, when she heard it. Sobbing. Her heart sunk, she knew that sound. She loved that voice, but not that sound. Suddenly feeling sober, she slowly opened the door and inched her way into the dark room. Tears streamed more down her face as she saw JJ curled up in the fetal position, devastation radiating from her every pore. The brunette did not care if she did not want her there. She needed to be there. She could not just leave her like that...again. Her instinct was to comfort, and she would try even if she did not know how JJ would react to it. She walked silently forward sitting down behind the blonde. She spread her legs and pulled the blonde firmly into her body leaning them against the wall for support. JJ's back resting against her front, her head resting on the blonde's shoulders and her arms tightly around her waist.

The blonde's body ached against the hardwood floor, her tiny frame not providing any sort of comfort for her as she lay motionless in the dark room. Tear tracks were stained on her pale checks, her body still shaking with the sobs that took over her. She had never felt such pain in her life. Total heartache. She hated being left with her thoughts...completely alone. She couldn't stop her mind from reeling, her heart from breaking a little more as each minute ticked past, Emily still not returning. _She's not coming back,_ JJ was wrong. When the strong arms of her girlfriend wrapped around her she wanted so badly to force them away. She wanted to still be in control of her body but she had lost control hours ago. She was consumed by the pain, hurt and guilt she was feeling and there was nothing she could do about it. The blonde's body slumped backwards into Emily, sobs still making her body shake. She turned in Emily's arms, her eyes casting down, unable to look at the brunette as she slumped down. She reached out, both hands gripping onto Emily's shirt fiercely as she pressed her forehead against the space just below Emily's neck. Sobs tumbled from Jennifer's numb lips, her body shaking as she gripped onto the brunette's shirt, her knuckles turning white. Wet tears slid down the blonde's cold cheeks and stained Emily's shirt. Slowly, one hand let go of Emily's shirt, the other gripping even tighter than before. She balled her hand into a fist and thumped it against Emily's chest, "I hate you," She sobbed, "You left me," She pounded her fist harder against Emily's chest, "You left me alone in _our _home."

While on the inside the brunette was greatful that JJ had not pushed her away, her reaction was almost worse. She almost stopped breathing, her heart clenching more and more tightly in her chest the longer the blonde sobbed and cried and clung to her. When she felt the first punch to her chest, she was shocked. Not by it happening, she deserved it. She was more shocked that she liked it, not in a sexual way. But it was pleasurable because it hurt. She deserved to hurt. She clenched her bloody hand so tight it started to bleed and her knuckles turned white. But she knew she deserved it. It was a gratification from all the pain, guilt and anguish. The profiler was conflicted. JJ hated her, she understood why. _Should I leave?_ But this hate stemmed from her leaving in the first place. JJ's words confirmed that. She knew she would not leave, she never wanted to leave her again. It hurt too much. Someone would have to force her to leave, and even then she would fight to the death to get back. She never wanted to let her go, even if she had no idea what was going to happen next. But she would fight first, she would do what she had to and then if JJ did not want her...she would go and come back to try again. She would do anything to make her happy. "I'm sorry," she whispered. She knew that was not enough, but it was a start. She even surprised herself that she only slurred slightly. "I'm _so_ sorry. It all got too much. I needed space to think. I needed to get out before we both said things we wouldn't be able to take back. More than we have already." Emily unclenched her bloody, glass-filled hand, reached up to stroke JJ's cheek. "I'm here, and I'm not leaving, and I want to talk. Even if it makes you run, or freak out, or hate me even more, because I want to fix this. I want to listen. I want _you_ to talk. I need to fix this. I want us to fix each other. I _need _you in my life and I am going to _fight_ to keep you."

JJ's fist continued to pound into Emily's chest fiercely as she tried to deal with what was happening and the affect Emily leaving had had on her. She listened to the brunette speak as she gripped her t-shirt, her body not allowing herself to let go, she couldn't let Emily go again. If she let go then she could leave and she wouldn't allow it. _I won't let her go again, I won't let her leave me, she can't do that. _She pressed her forehead against Emily's skin harder, willing the bad memories to leave her mind as the brunette spoke. She wanted that too but she couldn't be sure if Emily really did. In JJ's mind everyone always left her in the end. Everyone made promises that they couldn't keep. "Don't say it if you don't mean it." She cried, her fingertips raw as she clung to Emily for dear life. "Everyone always leaves," She sobbed into Emily's chest, "They promise they won't but they do, they always leave me." _Sarah left me, she chose to leave me like everybody else did. _JJ was crumbling inside, so many events running through her mind and causing her to break down. This was only the straw that broke the camels back. Emily was the one to kick her whilst she was down. She stuck the last dagger in the wound to finish her off. Everyone always left Jennifer Jareau.

The profiler listened intently to every word JJ said. She could feel the hidden secrets lurking in them. The past events that the blonde had shouted about ringing in her mind. Events that she knew they would have to talk about to have any chance of being together forever, as she wanted them to be. They both needed to address their past, their insecurities and their suppressed emotions. It was obvious JJ had her own demons, as much as she herself did. The brunette prided herself on her walls and inner compartments but clearly she was not the only one that had a talent for it. It was almost as if the blonde had been focusing on fixing her, avoiding her own issues...deflecting the attention away from her. It finally was starting to make sense and with that there was a glimmer of hope that over time this could be fixed. It was similar to joining an AA group, first you need to admit a problem...then you can heal. _And god damn it__they were gonna heal!_ Emily knew to be able to have a proper conversation, _probably for the first time in my life_, this thought made her feel a little sick but she pushed that down. She knew to have a proper conversation they need to be facing each other, looking into each other's eyes. They needed to move, which she knew would upset JJ. "It breaks my heart that I can't make you that promise." She said quickly knowing this would scare her. "But I _promise_ you that I will not leave willingly. I can't promise that I will be with your forever, life constantly throws obstacles. There are some things I can't fight, but I _promise_ you I will fight my hardest against any obstacles. You are my life and I am staying! I want _forever_ with you. I will tell you that every second of every day if I need to for you to believe me." Emily spoke every word clearly and with conviction.

Jennifer's grip on Emily's shirt began to loosen at the brunette's words. They calmed her somewhat. She drew her head from Emily's chest and slowly raised it, her eyes trailing up Emily's body. Her deep blue pools set on her girlfriends counterparts for the first time. Still holding onto the brunette's shirt for support she let the hurt shine through in her eyes. The brunette's features had softened a lot from earlier, she could tell she had been crying, her make up smudged and her cheeks pale. _She means it. She means every word. _"You left tonight," She started, the sobs dying down but tears still flowing down her pale cheeks, "What makes you so sure you won't again? Every couple has arguments, Emily, granted they might not have the problems we do," Her eyes stayed focused with Emily's as she spoke, "How do you know you won't run again if and when we ever fight again?" She slowly let go of Emily's shirt, her fingertips raw, and pushed against Emily's chest to let go of her. "I won't be able to deal with that, you running when things get tough and you don't like it."

The brunette thought carefully about this. This was an issue that was tough and needed thought. If they were going to talk they needed to be honest and open. "Before I answer that...and I _promise_ you I will. I am going to leave this room, _but_ I _promise_ with all my heart I will come back again." Emily looked sincerely into JJ's eyes. "In fact..." She slowly backed away from JJ as she slowly took off her sweats. "I am going to leave my sweats right here with you. I can't leave in my panties." It was not done sexually, nor did it feel that way. There was no time for that, this was serious. "I _promise_ I am not leaving." Emily knew the more she said this last statement and the constant use of the word 'promise', and then proved it to be true, which she would, JJ would slowly believe her over time. Now was the perfect time to start that.

JJ felt her body tense when Emily mentioned leaving the room. She went to object but Emily spoke again before she had a chance. Nodding slowly, still very unsure but she had to try and trust Emily, give her a chance to redeem herself. She bit down on her bottom lip as she slowly nodded again, "Okay."

Emily sped out the room, grabbing what she needed from the lounge and literally ran back in the guest room juggling things. She stopped abruptly skidding across the floor. In her arms where two huge comfy cushions and some large candles and a box of matches. She placed one cushion in front of JJ, handing the other to the blonde and placed the candles around the room. "We have both been crying and have adjusted to the darkness, the main lights will be too bright." The brunette quickly lit the candles and sat down in down in front of JJ as close to her as possible. She reached out with her good hand and grabbed one of JJ's hands.

JJ took the cushion from Emily and immediately shifted so it was beneath her. She watched her carefully as she set about lighting the candles and welcomed the change in ambiance within the room. She watched as Emily took her hand, allowing her to do so. "I'm so tired." JJ muttered, her body feeling weak, she hated to think what time it actually was by now. "But I don't think I could sleep."

Emily smiled a tiny smile of sympathy. "Me neither." The profiler took a deep breath and closed her eyes to compose the thoughts in her head. "Running is a natural reaction to me. Just like some of my other habits, it's a defense mechanism. When I get too overwhelmed or scared, I run away to collect myself; to find space; to breathe. We both handle confrontations differently. In contrast you like to confront things right there and then. Living together, which I hope we will continue to, will test that. I can't promise you I won't have a moment of weakness and run out. But I do promise to try my hardest not to, to learn and discover ways that both work for us. Perhaps you give me some space for a short period and I will come and _talk_ to you? I am not perfect, we both know that, but I _promise_ if I do have a moment of weakness, I will come back. Tonight was one of the worst nights of my life and I will learn from the mistakes I made. I _promise_ you that." Emily opened her eyes again and looked back into JJ's eyes.

JJ sniffled as she listened to what Emily had to say. It meant a lot to her, that she was trying to explain why she did the things she did and that she was trying to convince JJ that she would try her hardest to combat her problems. _I have to do the same,_ she thought to herself as she lightly squeezed Emily's hand in her own. "You're right, Em." The blonde started, "I'm the sort of person that wants to confront things because I can't leave them to stew like you do, it only ever makes things worse. I mean look at us." She smiled sadly, "We're the way we are now because we both tried to ignore what we both felt about this whole meeting the parents thing." JJ felt different about it, completely different in fact than Emily did but they both had their reasons and that's what they needed to get to the bottom of. "I should have told you. I should have told you why I never arranged for you to meet them sooner, I'm sorry that I didn't."

Emily needed to feel more contact with the blonde, but knew they needed to talk this all out otherwise it there is the potential to avoid. So she did the next best thing and reached out for JJ's other hand. In all the openness and talking she had forgotten about her injury, winced and pulled it back quickly. Next time she moved in slower making sure to just touch the tips of her fingers against JJ's. "I forgive you, just like I hope you forgive me. I love you so much and I want us to talk. I'm not going to lie, the thought makes me a little sick," Emily smirks her character slowly coming back the more they talked, "but I think it is necessary and I like this. I feel like I'm closer to you. Even if it did take a road of torture to get here." Emily's face falling slightly and her eyes blanking over slightly, remembering the pain and guilt. _I wonder if that will ever go away?_

Emily's declaration of love made JJ smile gently, the smile didn't reach her eyes like normal, but in time it would. JJ noticed Emily wince, she listened to her continued speech before she looked down at Emily's hand. Noticing the dried blood and fragments of glass JJ shook her head, "This doesn't look good, Emily." She said studying the hand in front of her, "We need to sort this..." JJ stopped. She spotted a black smudge on Emily's arm not far from her wrist. She looked closer and realised what it was. "Is this some guy's _number?"_ She asked, eyes wide in shock. She had been lying there for hours crying non-stop and Emily was out _getting numbers_.

As JJ reached in to look at the number on her arm, Emily's stomach dropped. She knew she had done nothing wrong, she just been wallowing alone and that creep had tried it on. "Oh no,_no_! Please don't go down that train of thought because it is _really_ not what you think!" Emily exclaimed. She knew exactly what JJ was thinking, who would not jump to those conclusions. She knew she would too. For all the blonde knew she was out at a bar with a guy while she sobbed on the floor. "I didn't even notice he was next to me at first. I was just sitting there drinking, crying and thinking. I was totally spaced out thinking about you. I only noticed when he put his hand on my thigh." Emily shuddered in disgust. "I pushed him away. God he was..." She shudders again. "He grabbed my wrist wrote this number on me, kissed me on the cheek and stumbled off." _If she doesn't believe me I have no idea what I'm gonna do!_

JJ bit down on her lip to stop herself saying something she would end up regretting. She took in everything Emily had to say, running each statement through her mind until she let go of her hands and stood up. She walked swiftly towards the door then stopped when she realised Emily wasn't following her. Turning back around she faced her girlfriend once again, "Are you just going to sit there or are you going to come with me so I can sort that hand out?" She smiled gently at Emily and reached out her hand hoping she would take it. She knew they had a long way to go but it was a start.

_Oh no, please no!_ Emily thought panicking as she watched JJ get up and walk off. Her heart literally stopped right there. If the blonde did not trust her then it was pretty much over. She did not turn around, too scared to move. That was until she heard JJ speak and suddenly her heart started again and she turned around to see her hand out extended. "Can...can we just leave it? I want to continue our talk in here, _please_." Realistically she did not think she deserved to have it sorted out yet. It was almost an exterior demonstration of their mess. She was also too scared to move. The brunette had finally started to be ok with the idea of revealing things to JJ, things that she had no idea how the blonde would react. If she moved she might lose her courage.

JJ slowly walked back into the centre of the room towards her girlfriend and stopped to look down at her. "I'm not going to let my girlfriend just sit there bleeding." She reached out her hand again, hoping this time Emily would take it. "We can talk in the living room whilst I fix you up, come on."

As soon as the profiler heard the word 'girlfriend' she smiled. "Thank God!" she whispered. But then she remembered what JJ had said and she frowned in thought. She sat there and stared at the hand. "It's just...I...Ok." Giving in, she got up and placed her hand in JJ's.

JJ noticed the hesitation in Emily's voice and knew it needed to be addressed. Squeezing Emily's hand in her own she took a step towards her. "I know how hard it is for you to open up like this," She started, she brought one hand up to place her hand on Emily's cheek, "And I know you want to get this all out now, and we will, I will be honest too," She leant towards Emily slowly, hovering her lips close to her own. "But just let me sort your hand out, _please? _It's important to me." She pressed her lips gently to Emily's for a second before she pulled away, her lips grazing hers as she whispered, "_Please?"_

Emily leant her forehead against her _girlfriend's_. She closed her eyes. There were being honest now. She knew she had to be honest, she was a profiler she knew it could eat at her and get worse; a similar attitude to her youth – she deserves punishment for her actions. She was terrified of talking, _if I say this maybe it will make it easier to open up later? One hurdle at a time._ Emily sighs, feeling ashamed and embarrassed. "It's not just that." She pauses. "I like it...the pain. When I think about how much I hurt you," she chokes up. "I deserve it...the pain. I deserve it." She could feel the guilt over every building within her and clenched her hand at the feeling. She remembered about the meal, they had not even covered that yet. She totally ruined everything, their relationship, her family, their future. She let out a loud sob.

JJ watched as Emily's face changed. She could tell that she was going to reveal something that she possibly wasn't going to like, she was right. JJ felt sick when Emily spoke about liking the pain. How could someone like that? Actually want to go through that, she couldn't understand. She watched as her girlfriend almost crumpled before her, breaking her heart all over again. "You...you like it?" JJ's expression showed how hard it was for her to deal with this information. "You don't deserve the pain, Emily, how could you say such rubbish?" She shook her head, "You hurt me and I hurt you right back in return." She brought her hands up to cup her girlfriend's cheeks. "We both made this happen, you with your walls and me..." She stopped, biting down on her lip she felt tears prick her eyes, "And me with...with..." She felt a lump in her throat stop her from speaking but she was determined to finish what she wanted to say. "And me with my demons relating to Sarah's death." Her eyes cast down as she mentioned her sisters name. _I can't remember the last time I said her name out loud. _"We both did this."

The brunette listened, she could hear the pain and worry in JJ's voice. But she was glad she had said it. She felt a weight lifted. She knew it would not just go away like that but now the blonde knew, and it was out in the open, it was safer. Emily cleared her throat. "Ok." _Honesty Emily!_ "It will take time, but ok." Emily smiled a small smile. "I...I want us to talk all this out, right now."

JJ nodded, she took her hands from Emily's face and instead took one of her hands in her own. "Can we at least go and sit on the couch then? I've got such a numb bum from sitting on that floor."

"I happen to like your bum." She laughed and pulled out the guest room to talk.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N - Thanks for all the kind reviews! We do read them all. Sorry for the delay - their story is far from over and we have a LOT to publish yet...We love hearing from you so keep reviewing or messaging us. If you have ideas or even situations you wanna see like the paint one - all are welcome! :)

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><p>JJ felt relief strike her as they began to talk. The fact they were even trying to let each other in a bit more meant a lot to JJ. They had a lot to talk about, a lot to be shared before they would be back to normal, it was going to take a while but they were going to do it and that was the most important thing. Jennifer knew it was going to be emotionally draining, especially talking to Emily about her sister and revealing all of her secrets but she knew it had to be done. For them to get over this fight she had to be honest with Emily and that was exactly what she did. She told Emily about her sisters suicide, how she had given her the necklace before she died. She told Emily how she struggled afterwards, she didn't go out, didn't even want to speak to her parents. She told her of her romance a few years later with a guy, a very bad influence and who had been using her. She cried as she explained how he, too, had left her. Everyone always left her in her mind, there was nothing she could do about it, it was her fear that that would never stop happening. JJ could feel relief waft over her as she told Emily exactly how she felt, what was on her mind, what her worries and fears were. She was finally telling the one person she should be able to tell anything to.<p>

Emily's heart broke as she listened patiently while JJ explained some key aspects of her past. She held her as she cried recounting all her fears and painful memories that she had kept locked shut to the outside world. Deep down who the blonde was finally made sense to the profiler. Her character traits and fears made sense, just as she was sure her own personality had been shaped around her past. She held her girlfriend tight and kissed her lovingly on the temple, "I'm sorry you had to go through all that. I'm so sorry. I wish I could take away the pain that was caused. But I _can_ promise you that I'm here for you, always. You are the love of my life Jennifer."

JJ relaxed into the brunette's touch, genuine relief struck her because finally Emily understood. She knew everything and that felt good. She rested her chin on her shoulder and wrapped her arms around her back. She knew it was going to be a long evening that would last into the early hours of the morning. "Thank you for listening," she whispered through her tears, "I'm so glad you understand, I love you and I never meant to screw this up." She cried.

Emily hugged her tighter and kissed her head, "You didn't screw this up. We didn't screw this up! If anything we just got a little off track...but we will be perfect and one very open loving couple who everyone will be jealous of." She said tearily.

JJ nodded, "I've never felt this way about someone before, I don't want to ruin it. I don't want to lose this feeling because you make me feel amazing." She whispered as she brought a hand up and brushed the tears from her cheeks before nuzzling her face into her soft neck.

Emily continued to hold her, "I'm not going anywhere mi amor. You're not going to lose me...not if I can help it anyway." She knew there where risks with their jobs and she didn't want to make a promise that she couldn't keep.

JJ smiled sadly and nodded against her neck. She took a deep breath and sat back again. "I guess it's your turn then," she started as she looked at her girlfriend, "take all the time you need."

Emily looked terrified at her girlfriend. _She's going to run away_, she thought.

The blonde narrowed her eyes when she noticed the look on Emily's face. She reached forward and took her hand in her own. "I know what you're thinking," she started, "but I'm here, not going anywhere."

"Yeah but some of the things, Jen...some of them are not nice, and...and your it's going to change how you look at me...I don't know how you're going to react," she whispered shakily. "I don't know what I did to deserve you, it doesn't make sense in my head. Sometimes I think I shouldn't be happy. I don't deserve to be loved. I guess that's why I feel like I should be p-punished for things, like what I did to you tonight...why I deserved...," she trailed out looking at her injured hand.

JJ listened as the brunette spoke, she had no idea what Emily was going to tell her but she knew nothing could ever change her feelings for her. She was crazy about her, always had been and that was never going to change. Squeezing her hand gently she looked into her eyes, "Em I love you so much, nothing is ever going to change that. I don't know what you're going to tell me, I have no idea but I can guarantee I'm going to be here, always. Of course you deserve to be happy and I'm gunna be the one to make you happy." She smiled gently at her girlfriend and squeezed her hand again reassuringly.

Emily closed her eyes so not to see her girlfriend's face. She was ashamed of a lot of her past, particularly the two significant secrets she was hiding from her. She took a deep breath, "I moved around a lot, you know that. All I wanted to do was fit in. In Italy I made friends with these two boys around my age, John and Matthew. John was attractive and rebellious, whereas Matthew was more straight laced, he was my guide. One night John convinced me that the best way...the best way to fit in was to have...to have sex. I was only 15." She took another breath trying to hold off the tears. "And I got pregnant," it was too hard to stop the tears and they streamed down her face.

As the brunette began to speak JJ would not her head gently to show she was listening. She took in everything, every word but that wasn't what she had expected to hear. _She was pregnant?_ JJ tried to calm her thoughts, it had taken her surprise but she didn't feel any differently about Emily. "I'm so sorry," She whispered as she squeezed her hands, unable to know what else to say.

The profiler knew she had to continue otherwise she wouldn't be able to. "Matthew noticed I was different. I avoided it for ages, but he confronted me. I was getting sick and had put on weight and all the other pregnancy symptoms that happen. John didn't want anything to do with it. He was nasty and blamed me, calling me names and telling me to deal with it. I was so scared, but Matthew was there to help me. I couldn't tell my Mother, she has no idea." She lets go of JJ's hands and brings them up to rub her temple. She could feel her walls fighting to protect her emotions. "We were in Rome. Everyone was religious. Matthew took me to our local priest, I don't really know what we were expecting to find, but he said if I got an abortion I was no longer welcome in the church. But I was only 15," she exclaimed. "I couldn't have a baby at 15. I could barely look after myself. So Matthew found a place and he went with me. And then afterwards walked proudly by my side to the front of the church at the next service. I...I got an abortion." She let out a sob, "And I've never really forgiven myself for it. It broke me and it broke Matthew. He started questioning his faith and taking drugs. I spent the rest of my life rebelling against everything and everyone, but I was smart so I still got places in life. Before I knew it I was shipped off to another country..." she trailed off her brain aching with all the torment and memories that were swirling around it.

JJ listened as Emily unraveled the facts, she could tell it had been eating her up all these years and hadn't really spoken to anybody about it, she was glad she was talking now. Once she was sure the brunette had stopped talking she reached over to place her hand reassuringly on her knee. "You did the right thing, Em, the right thing for you and for the baby." She squeezed her knee, she could feel tears pricking her own eyes, seeing her girlfriend so crushed wrecked her. "And you can't blame yourself for the change in Matthew, it's not your fault."

The brunette shook her head, "But it was my fault...what I did...it broke him. He's never got over it. He's still a total wreck, ever since it happened. Everywhere I went in life I was known as the bad influence, I was a bad influence. And as much as we try and get him on the straight and narrow..."

JJ shook her head as she clutched her knee, "You can't think like that Emily, he chose to help you, it was his decision." She just wanted to help Emily, she needed to reassure her that it wasn't her fault. "You could never be a bad influence, look at the good you've done, especially at the BAU, Morgan would go crazy if he heard you talking like this, you aren't a bad influence, you hear me?" She had to get it through to Emily. She leant forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead, "You've just had a lot of crap to deal with in your childhood, with a Mother like yours you did extremely well in my books."

The brunette smiled sadly and nodded unable to reply in words. She sat there in silence for a long time before speaking again, "That experience...that was what really made me learn to hide my emotions...that, and my Mother's way of bringing me up. I learnt to act, to put on a fake, to be someone I wasn't, to do things and not feel them...which...which I used later in my career," she stuttered out nervously.

The blonde nodded, she couldn't completely understand but she had met her Mother, she knew what she was like. The blonde could tell she was leading into something, but wasn't sure what to say. She stayed silent and hoped Emily would explain more.

Emily took another deep breath, "Because I lied about what I did before the BAU...to you...to the team...even to Strauss...my records are faked. They are made up." She said shaking slightly. This was what could change JJ's opinion of her forever.

As soon as Emily said she had lied she felt her stomach lurch. _She's lied?_ the blonde wasn't sure what to do or say. "You...you lied?" She looked at Emily, clearly confused.

Emily looked at her girlfriend, "I worked for the CIA. My resume and recommendations for the BAU were all made up...I wasn't working on desk jobs in the FBI in other states. My recommendations weren't from ex-FBI bosses but my CIA teammates...to make sure everything stayed hidden."

JJ's jaw dropped, "The CIA?" Was she really hearing correctly? Had her girlfriend just said she was previously working for the CIA? She couldn't believe it. She wasn't sure if she wanted to know more details.

The profiler nodded, "As an undercover Agent profiling the deadliest unsubs from the inside. Before the BAU I was undercover for years as Lauren Reynolds pretending to sell weapons...working alongside one terrorist in particular, Ian Doyle." She closed her eyes, "I was chosen because I was his type...brunette, fairly tall, slim."

The words spoken by the brunette sent the blonde reeling. She couldn't believe what she was being told, they had been together for nearly a year and she had never thought to tell her this before. "His type." The blonde repeated, as she thought about what that meant, it insinuated a lot of things, she wasn't quite sure if she wanted to know if they were in fact what had actually happened. She was scared, so scared of what Emily was going to tell her next.

Emily cringed at the words and hang her head, _this is it_ she thought. _The true moment she could up and run_, "Yes...my mission was to get on the inside...as his...as his girlfriend/life-partner...l-lover."

The words seemed to come out in slow motion, she knew it was coming yet it didn't hurt any less. She knew it was a different life, it happened before they had even met and yet it was still hard to hear. She wasn't sure what to say or how to act. _She was his lover._

The profiler had to continue. She had to be honest. "He...he wanted me to marry him but I told him I didn't believe in marriage...He gave me an eternity ring instead. I...I also helped raise his son, Declan like my own. I didn't know he was Ian's at first until he told me he wanted to be a family and me to be his mother and we argued about the life he would be raised into." She knew this was probably killing her girlfriend, but she had to say it all. She didn't want to miss out parts, just in case it came out later.

The blonde was frozen to her spot as she spoke, she was praying that she had heard wrong, that she hadn't been listening properly and her mind decided to play tricks on her. JJ looked down at the ground, taking a deep breath she pulled her hand back from Emily and began to idly fiddle with her hands to distract herself.

Emily swallowed back a sob as tears fell down her cheeks. She hated JJs reaction, but she understood it. "Jen it was an alternate reality. I was there and they pulled me out and told Ian I was killed in a car crash. He was arrested. I then had to pretend to play a game with Declan to take photos that made him look dead, which were used to get Ian to talk. At the end of the day it wasn't reality."

The blonde slowly looked up and could see the tears falling down Emily's cheeks. She wanted desperately to console her but she wasn't sure what to say or do. She was in shock. "Did you love him?" The question left her lips before she could even contemplate it.

The brunette closed her eyes and sighed. That was a hard question. _Did I love him?_ "I suppose I did. But it wasn't a normal love. You could say Lauren loved him. But she was a character, just as evil, a terrorist like him not afraid of anything or anyone. I had to be careful, if he found out he would have killed me. I suppose at times the lines blurred so I relaxed and was more Emily, at home and around Declan especially. Over time I became more housewife than weapon dealer and I could stand up to him more cause I knew how he worked. It's a hard question. Yes, half of me did. The other half knew it was fake." She paused and looked at her girlfriend, "Though in comparison to you no. You're the love of my life. In comparison to you everyone else is and will always be nothing."

JJ looked up and listened as the brunette spoke. She tried to tell herself that it was years ago, that they didn't even know each other yet, they didn't exist to each other but it still hurt her slightly. Emily was the love of her life and that was the truth, she knew she was the same for Emily but it still hurt to know she had this other big love in her life before her. The blonde processed everything, she analysed every fact in her mind before she took a deep breath. "Thank you for being honest." The blonde muttered as she reached forward to take her hand once more to make up for the gesture earlier. She cupped her hand around Emily's and squeezed it gently.

Emily reached a hand out and stroked her girlfriend's cheek and jawline, "Jen you have to see it as two seperate people. I try and see it like that. When I was with him I was Lauren. Emily didn't exist. Emily...I...never would have gone near him. He was...is an unsub. Obviously I'm only human I couldn't stop myself from blurring the lines a little, but I was Lauren. When I finished the mission I didn't know how to be Emily anymore. You know what I was like when I joined the BAU...not the same as I am now. It took me a while to find myself again. I'm still trying to find myself...but I have the one thing that helps me more than anything. And that's you." She said honestly.

Jennifer nodded slowly. "I don't think I will ever completely understand," She said honestly as she looked into her eyes, "But I respect you for being honest and I understand this is a different part of your life now." The blonde was going to struggle with it, especially certain aspects of it but she would deal with it eventually. It was Emily she was more worried about.

The brunette slumped back on the sofa and closed her eyes to the onslaught of memories and boxes that had been reopened that had been long buried. She really wanted a drink.

JJ looked over at her girlfriend and knew it had taken a lot out of her, she wasn't surprised. It had been a big conversation which they had been building up to, it had to be done and JJ felt a weight lift off of her shoulders knowing that she had shared all of her secrets and worries. She sat back against the arm of the couch and took a deep breath, "So are we good now?" The blonde asked, "Is there anything else?"

Emily shook her head, "Those are the two big things."

JJ nodded, she slowly stood from the couch and knelt down in front of Emily and reached up to take her face in her hands. "Guess what?"

The brunette slowly opened her eyes and looked into her girlfriend's, "What?" she whispered out timidly.

JJ stroked Emily's cheek gently before smiling softly, "I still love you," She took a deep breath, "I told you, nothing could ever change the way I feel about you."

Tears started to run down the profiler's cheeks in relief, "I love you too."

The blonde smiled and stood up. She began to walk across the lounge towards their bedroom and stopped at the doorway. "Aren't you coming?"

Emily shook her head, "I'm gonna sit here for a while...you go ahead."

JJ nodded her understanding and walked back over to her. She leant down in front of her girlfriend, resting one hand on the back of the couch as she brushed a strand of hair out of her face with the other. "Don't be long," She pressed a gentle kiss to her lips as her eyes closed, she brought a hand to her cheek and gently stroked it as she kissed her again before pulling back. "Wake me up when you come to bed." She stroked Emily's cheek with the back of her hand before pulling back and standing up straight.

Emily smiled sadly, it not reaching her eyes and nodded at her girlfriend.

The blonde walked off to the bedroom to leave her girlfriend alone with her thoughts. She knew she probably would be up for a while, JJ had lots to think about too. At the end of the day she still loved Emily and that was all that mattered. The blonde stared up at the ceiling as she laid back in her bed, thinking about what had happened throughout the course of the evening. She was going to have to speak to her parents tomorrow and she was dreading it but it had to be done. She wanted them to love Emily but they knew right now they didn't. The blonde soon fell into a deep sleep on her side of the bed, she was out for the count.

Emily watched her girlfriend walk off and closed her eyes. She maybe ok with JJ, but that didn't really matter if she was not ok with her family. The brunette was used to not having a good family life and she didn't want to be the one to stand in the way of JJ. She didn't want to be the one that cause a rift because they hated her, which they did at the moment. JJ's parents hated her.

She sat there for hours thinking, thinking about all those memories she had uncovered and ways to fix her relationship with JJ's parents. She had to do something. She got up and walked into the kitchen to find the address of where they were staying on the fridge and called a cab. She had drunk too much to drive and she definitely was not going to go to sleep. She ran out of the flat with a plan of action in mind. By the morning she would have made it up to JJ's parents. Emily Prentiss was stubborn and would die trying.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: We do not own the show - sad times! Here is the next chapter! They have a long and crazy journey ahead filled with fluff, smut and drama - so hold tight we have a long way to go with their lives yet! Please review - it makes our day! All ideas/wishes/suggestions welcome :)

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><p>A thumping pain in the blonde's head was what awoke her the next morning, the sun shining in through the opened curtains didn't particularly help either. "Too. Bright." The blonde muttered under her breath as she held her hand up in front of the shining light to try and block it from her view. She let out a groan of frustration and turned over in the bed to face the opposite way. "Emily shut the curtains." The blonde whined as she buried her face into her pillow and prayed her girlfriend had heard her. Silence. "Emily!" The blonde huffed as she hit her pillow with her hand out of frustration, needless to say she wasn't a morning person. When there was no response once again she slowly opened one eye and peered down to Emily's side of the bed. "Emily?" When she noticed the brunette was missing she immediately shot up out of bed. She looked around the room and then in the ensuite bathroom. "Emily?" The blonde immediatly began to panic, <em>What if she's changed her mind? What if she can't accept my problems? What if she doesn't think I accept hers?<em> The blonde tried to get rid of the bad thoughts but that wasn't so easy. I haven't checked the rest of the apartment, she could have fallen asleep on the couch or something. The blonde raided Emily's draw for her old college t-shirt and kept on her favourite pyjama shorts. Her once perfect hair was now disheveled, she ran a hand through it before rubbing at her tired eyes. Opening the bedroom door the blonde disappeared into the hallway on the look out for her girlfriend. "Emily?" _Please be here, please be here._ As the blonde neared the lounge she could hear voices, several voices in fact,_ is that_...the blonde shook her head, _can't be_.

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><p>Rushing out of the apartment in the early hours she sat on the sidewalk waiting for the cab she called. The brunette looked up as the cab pulled up in front of her and leapt up. She walked over and got in the back, "I need to run several errands this morning, so I will need to you to park and do a lot of waiting. Money is not an issue. I will pay and tip you extremely well I promise," she rushed out smiling at the driver, who nodded politely.<p>

"Where first ma'am?" he said politely.

Emily took a deep breath to calm herself, "First...first we need to go to the big supermarket down the road, the 24 hour one. I need to go shopping." At this the driver took off down the road towards the destination.

On arrival the brunette jumped out, "Please park up and wait for me. Thank you so so much." She shouted as she walked quickly into the store grabbing the nearest shopping cart. "Breakfast foods," she muttered out heading off around the store grabbing everything and anything she could possibly get her hands on. Breads, pasties, fruit, bacon, sausages, eggs, potatoes, cereals, porridge, jellies...any breakfast food she could possibly think off. It was going to cost a fortune, but this was an all out mission. She could probably feed the apartment building 8 times over, but she wanted to have anything and not miss something someone would like.

Wheeling the cart to the taxi, the driver got out and helped her load the bags. The chatted politely and she explained her mission to him, mission 'Win Over Potential Parents-In-Law'. "Next...," Emily said as she took a deep breath, "to the Capitol Hotel please."

"And wait for you as usual ma'am," the driver nodded winking at her in understanding.

_This is it_, she said as she sat in the corridor waiting for a polite time to knock on room 976. As her watch read 8am, she stood up, brushed herself off and took a deep breath. Stay calm, stay calm, she repeated in her head as she knocked.

The door was opened by a surprised and annoyed looking Harry Jareau, "Why are you here? Has something happened to Jennifer?"

Emily cleared her throat, "No...No Sir, Jennifer is fine. She is asleep at home. I just...I hoped I would be able to talk to you and your wife." She stuttered out nervously.

Harry stood there and glared at her with the 'I don't like you, you're dating my baby girl' look.

"Of course, Emily," Lynn Jareau nudged her husband in the side. "If you are here this early in the morning," she said glaring at her husband now, "There is obviously something important you want to say."

Emily stepped into the room and stood at the end of the bed while Harry and Lynn took a seat facing her. "Thank you." Emily looked around the room shaking slightly. "I hope you had a good night." _Oh God this is awkward!_

The Jareaus both nodded and looked at Emily waiting for her to start.

"Right," she gulped and took a deep breath. "I came to apologise to you for how I acted during our dinner together. I know you think I shouldn't be dating your daughter," Harry Jareau scoffed. She realised honesty was the best issue. "Jen and I kept a lot back from each other about our past. We never talked about the big things that affected us through our lives before we met. We both in a way were too scared to talk, worried the other would react badly or leave or not understand. Bottling them seemed easier. But that ultimately wasn't the case." She paused to gather her thoughts. "Jen never...never told me about Sarah and how it affects her and your family." She watched both Jareaus look shocked at the mention of their deceased daughter. "She never told me about her insecurities or the past or why I had never met you before now. I assumed...assumed she was ashamed or something. Through our lack of communication we caused this big rift right before we had dinner with you. I was so nervous about meeting you, I wanted to make a good impression on the two people that are Jen's life I didn't ask her about why she was off or tell her about how I felt. I never talk about my past because my family was so messed up, so she didn't feel like she could talk about hers with me. So with all that on our shoulders we had dinner with you." She desperately hoped they would understand.

She looked them both in the eyes with total love and honesty, "I love your daughter with my whole heart. I want to spend the rest of my life with her if she will have me. I want to care for her, and honour her, and protect her. She is my life. So much so that I spent the whole evening talking with her about our lives before we met, sharing things we were too scared to share. So much so that I haven't slept and have sat out in the corridor outside your room waiting for the right time to knock. So much so I have hired out a taxi all morning with the meter running. So much so that I have bought a crazy about of breakfast foods and would love for you to come back to our apartment and let me cook you breakfast. So much so I am begging you, begging you to forgive me and have a second chance to show you who your daughter is dating and living with." She breathed out desperately and then waited for a reply.

A silence filled the room as the Jareaus processed the information the brunette had gushed out. Harry Jareau stood from the bed before he broke into a smile, "You've really left the cab meter going outside? Are you insane? That will cost you a fortune."

At that Emily let out the breath she had been holding, "For Jen it doesn't even matter. It's worth it. I truly am sorry." She said timidly.

Lynn Jareau stood up and walked over to the brunette and gave her a hug, "We would love to come to breakfast with you let us grab our things."

She moved to let Harry hug the profiler, "I must say I'm impressed. Going to all this trouble for my baby...I'm impressed. I look forward to getting to know you better. And I appreciate that you were honest. Losing our daughter," he paused to gather his emotions, "affected our family dramatically, Jennifer especially. She cut herself off from us. I hope now she is addressing her feelings after all these years we might see our little girl return."

"And you will be the one to do that," Lynn added. "Despite the mess of the dinner, I could still see that she cares for you more than anything."

Emily smiled widely, "I care for her too and would do anything for her. I'm glad she trusts me with her heart."

As they all reached the taxi, Emily turned and stated, "Oh Jennifer has no idea I'm here. I left while she was asleep and as I said I haven't been to bed. So she maybe sleeping when we get back, we were up late and it was emotional and draining. She was shattered."

Lynn patted the brunette on the shoulder, "As are you. You look tired. It's ok...it means we can get to know our daughter's girlfriend better."

Harry Jareau climbed in the back of the cab, "How much? Jesus Emily...," he said as he looked at the meter in shock before glancing at the shopping, "Did you buy the whole store?"

The profiler blushed, "I didn't want to forget anything you may like. I don't know what you eat," she muttered as they drove off back to the apartment.

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><p>The blonde was certain she was wrong, that wasn't the voice of who she thought it was. She slowly continued her way down the hall towards the lounge and stopped dead in her tracks when she realised who was sat in the lounge. "Mum? Dad? What are you doing here?" JJ rubbed her eyes, trying to get the sleep out of her eyes and make sure she wasn't seeing things.<p>

The Jareaus turned to look at their daughter and smiled. "Emily visited us at our hotel this morning and asked us around. She actually preferred sitting in our hotel corridor until it was a good time to knock than sleeping," Lynn stated.

"She had this big speech about the dinner and why she loves you," Harry stated, "And she definitely loves you Jennifer. I like her."

To that Lynn nodded positively, "She's in the kitchen preparing breakfast," she chucked, "I hope your hungry."

JJ's jaw dropped as she listened to her parents speak, _she didn't go to sleep?_ the blonde could barely believe what she was hearing. Her girlfriend had gone out of her way in the middle of the night non-the-less to make things up to her parents, that meant a hell of a lot to JJ. JJ stepped further into the lounge and stood behind the couch looking down at her parents. "She did all that? In the middle of the night?" The blonde asked wide-eyed.

Harry laughed at his daughter's face and nodded.

"She hired a taxi for the whole night while she went shopping and talked to us. Your father still hasn't quite got over how much that cost her," Lynn laughed.

"Did you not see the number, Lynn, seriously!" Harry exclaimed, "And all the breakfast food she bought on top of that, to make sure we had everything we liked."

Lynn looked at her daughter, "I was lucky if your father remembered to bring me flowers every so often. I've never seen anything like it. She is devoted to you. She's a definite keeper, honey."

The blonde's mouth still hung wide open as she listened to her parents talk back and forth. _She didn't sleep, hired out a cab all night and went shopping for breakfast?_ JJ was dumbfounded, her Mother's words were what she wanted to hear, it was what she had wanted last night, for them to say they liked her and that she was a keeper. It had been how JJ wished the evening had gone and now they were here and they were saying it all. "She's in the kitchen?" The blonde asked, receiving nods from her parents she padded over to the kitchen and pushed open the door. "Emily?"

The brunette was working hard in the kitchen making sure everything was perfect. She had spent a lot of time hanging out in the kitchens through her childhood with professional chefs so knew what she was doing. But she hadn't cooked like this for a while and wanted to impress. Plus she couldn't stop yawning.

The kitchen was covered in all the food ready in boxes and plates, she was just waiting for the hot food to be. She rubbed her eyes and smiled about how well it had gone so far. Hearing her name she turned and saw her girlfriend standing in the door. She yawned loudly while getting out a muffed, "You're up!"

The blonde nodded and started over towards her girlfriend who seemed to be surrounded by every type of breakfast food known to man. "Is the whole building and their families coming to breakfast?" She muttered as she ran a hand through her messy hair.

Emily smiled sleepily concentrating on the food, "No...but I text the team to bring Jack etc and invited them for breakfast tomorrow."

JJ nodded as she walked up behind her girlfriend. She took Emily's arm and spun her around to face her. She took her face in her hands and pressed her lips to her girlfriends, kissing her fiercely.

The brunette pulled back when air became necessary, "Good morning to you too."

Jennifer pulled back and opened her eyes to gaze up into Emily's dark brown pools. She could see the brunette was tired and she would be going back to bed when her parents had left. She made a mental note to treat Emily to her favourite home cooked dinner tonight to thank her, as well as thanking her in a few other ways. "That was for being honest with me last night," She pressed her lips to Emily's again, "That was for making things right with my parents," She kissed her again, holding on top her cheeks firmly, "And that is for being the best girlfriend ever." She blonde moved her arms to wrap around her girlfriend's neck as she kissed her again lovingly.

Emily yawned again, "It was nothing really. I just had to make it right," she stated as she turned back around to flip the bacon over.

JJ pressed her body against Emily's back and slipped her arms around her waist. "My Mom says you're a keeper," She told her as she pressed a kiss to her neck.

At that the profiler dropped the spatula, tears filling her eyes and quickly turned in JJ's arm, "She did?" she whispered out timidly. "I was so scared they would always hate me after that dinner. That we couldn't be together because of that because I could never be someone who came in between your family. I didn't really have a family and you're close with them I didn't want to be the one to start fights. So I thought it was do something or back off you. But I love you so much that I had to do something cause I don't want to have to back off. And I was so worried that you would back off me anyway with all my past, and you didn't, after all that I couldn't sleep with the thought of your family thinking you're dating the worst person ever. I could let that hang over me. So I haven't slept and I'm so tired Jen, and I went crazy in the store and sat in a hotel corridor all night watching my watch and spent about a months pay on a taxi cab...and I'm totally rambling!"

Jennifer smiled softly at her girlfriend as she listened to her speak. Emily wasn't one to cry a lot so it showed that she really did care about everything that happened, not that JJ doubted that for a second. "You are the love of my life Emily Prentiss, I'm never going to let you walk away even if you try, you're stuck with me!" She brought a hand up to her cheek and brushed the tears away with the pads of her fingertips.

"I love you too," Emily yawned out before chastely kissing her on the lips and turning back to the food to check it wasn't burning. "I'll be out in a second if you want to go spend time with your parents."

The blonde nodded, she kept her arms around Emily's waist and leant forward to press a kiss to her ear. "I will thank you properly when we're alone." JJ whispered, her hot breath on Emily's ear.


End file.
